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One ritual my boys never let me forget (besides family movie night) is kisses and prayers before bed. I (sometimes) grin as they fight over who gets to go first. Once that is settled, I kiss a sweet smelling, little boy neck and whisper a prayer in his waiting ear.

There was the first time I prayed out loud for his wife…

My eldest son stopped me mid-prayer, “What? My wife? Mom, I’m never getting married. I’m going to go on adventures and be an inventor.”

Unconvinced, I still pray for these girls.

With 4 sons, who are currently best friends, I know the pull these gals could have in our family. And I don’t want our family to split because of their wives.

the prayer

So, I pray, “Lord, may the women who marry these boys, love one another. Most importantly may they love You, Lord, more than my sons.” (an odd thing to pray…but a God-Centered wife is an invaluable blessing).

Recently I’ve added a new request to the nightly routine.

“Dear Lord, may my future daughter-in-laws seek friendships with women who point them back to You.”

Because even women who seek God with a whole heart, need friends to keep them on track.

For the times…

  • the negative thoughts start to creep in
  • emotions begin to take over
  • we assume we are the “only” ones who struggle in marriage

we need godly women to remind us we aren’t alone.

I thank my own godly friendships for helping keep my marriage afloat–those women in my life who pick up the phone and listen when I need to share my newest hurt or frustration. Carefully and gently they encourage me to speak well of my husband and love him selflesssly.

Like the one time a sudden out-of-town business trip began my rant of frustrations.

How could he miss out on our son’s school performance? Or his parents who were visiting? Even worse our pre-planned date to see a free screening of “Catching Fire”?

I hoped for sympathy from my boy mom mentor, as I listed off all the ways my husband made me feel like work was more of a priority than our family. Instead she asked: “How are you loving Bruce well? How are you supporting him in this busy season of work?”

Excuse me, what?

Him? Loving Him? Did she hear anything I just said?

It took a few weeks before I appreciated her advice. I began to look for ways to help make his life easier by setting aside my disappointment and lessening the burden of his stress.

the grace 

Putting someone else’s needs above your own is not natural. And it took a wiser, godly woman to point my eyes away from myself and towards my husband.

Because as amazing as my sons are, they won’t be able to meet all the needs of their wife (nor should they).

My boys will fail. They will say the wrong thing. They won’t be as sensitive as they should be. They may not want to listen to all the details of her day.

So I will continue to pray for my future daughter-in-loves laws and their friendships. For women to listen, to remind them to show grace and love selflessly. Because I want these boys to continue the legacy of marriage their grandparents have set (100 years combined!), and counter-culturally love until death do they part.

Lord, protect the girls who will one day pledge their love to my sons. Direct their hearts to you. May they love you more than my sons. May they be surrounded by friends who point them back to You. Fill their life with grace & truth. May their marriages reflect Your love for the body of Christ and may others know they belong to You because of how they love. Amen.