Sweet friends,
Today, on our MOB Society Facebook page, I asked this question:
It was kind of a rhetorical question, because I already knew the answer: every single one of us. I asked for a show of likes, and so far, the number of you clicking your mouse in agreement confirms my suspicion.
Boy moms feel like they’re failing their sons. But why?
Part of the answer to that question is why the MOB Society exists in the first place—to help moms find delight in the chaos of raising boys, and have more peace in their hearts and homes. The MOB Society is a response to your cries for help, and we’re so happy to be here as a source of encouragement to you every day.
But we’d still like to know why you think you’re failing? Or at least why you’ve felt like a failure in the past? I know how to answer that question for me, but I’d love to know how you might answer it, my beautiful boymom friends.
So if you’re feeling brave today…if you’re in a place where you don’t mind letting the world know you actually don’t have it all together…would you tell us in the comments why you feel like a failure? Or why you’ve felt that way in the past? We’d be so grateful for your response.
And if you’re not feeling very brave (which is totally OK, we’ve all been there), send us an email with your response to themobsociety (at) gmail (dot) com with the words “this is why” (without the quotes) in the subject line. We’ll keep the light on for you.
Remember, He sees you, He loves you, and He’s listening to the cry of your heart. Right now.
My son seems to have trouble with so many things. He’s behind in kindergarten with his letters and numbers. He has major speeh delays and nothing seems to come naturally to him. I nanny kids that are good at just about everything they try and I think I must be doing something wrong. He’s so funny and creative but it seems like other than that everything is a struggle.
I can feel like a failure because my son struggles controlling his anger, at 7. I know it is from 5 years of inconstant parenting and moving. Only in the last year and half have I realized how much I need God to be a good parent. And it is such a struggle to fix what I feel like I broke.
I feel for me I am a perfectionist. I am frustrated in the way I respond to my son, discipline my son and that I can’t remain calm in the midst of chaotic emotions. I envision myself as a woman of solid calmness as that is what I admire in some of my friends. Yep, I compare too! Ugh! I pray those prayers everyday for my son, but mostly I pray for myself to be humbled before God. I know I will make mistakes. I feel like I fail in some way everyday. But God is gracious to me and I can be gracious to my son. I want him to grow up to be a godly man and I read so much about setting the right foundation. He’s 4. I just need to relax and place my son in God’s hands. But I really want to be a better example. I am so thankful for this ministry. I read your blog, pray the prayers and love reading about other moms who have good advice and who also struggle in the same way I am.
My children are special needs and very high maintenance. I feel like I fail them when I don’t do all the therapies, special diets, and things that I’m being told they need and then they start to regress.
I feel like a failure when I am at a loss on how to parent with grace and discipline and get too often frustrated by their behavior. It’s hard to balance my expectations.
I feel like I’m a failure for not taking my little guy places where other children are for fear that he’ll bite or get to excited and hurt others.
I feel like I failed from the beginning when I found out I was having a boy nearly 7 years ago (after a daughter now nearly 8) and was disappointed and worried as I had a bad relationship with my dad and brother and then a terrible first marriage breakdown and I had no idea how to or even the desire to parent a boy/male. I have now been blessed with two more boys so God must think I’m doing ok! I fail all the time in responding to my first son from a place of love, rather than a place of anger, frustration, bewilderment or irritation. I feel like I fail every time he has an angry/emotional outburst and I handle it wrong. Then I feel guilty about losing my temper and not loving him more. I feel like I fail in getting us both to feel on the same side and to break into the love I know I feel for him and more importantly for him to feel it too. I constantly beat myself up, particularly over him.
I feel like a failure because my son favors my husband/his dad. I feel like I am the bad guy always pushing/fighting for my special needs son to be an overcomer and that is why he doesn’t like me. I feel like I fail when I can’t take him places due to $$$$~~ the sins of our past are punishing him. I could go on, but that is enough here 🙂
I feel like a failure because my about to be four year old doesn’t listen to me. He runs all over me. I truly don’t know what to do. When my husband steps in for me I get mad at him for getting on to our son. I know it is completely crazy. My husband and I aren’t getting along very well at the moment, our parenting style is very different. He can’t relax and have fun. He is always so serious. My son has seen his father yell and curse at me and he is starting to do the same. My husband is not himself since my father committed suicide in June of 2012. He never yelled or cursed at me before. I feel like I am failing my son because he is continuing to witness bad behavior. I feel hopeless.
Mom to 2 boys ages 2 & 7. I feel like a failure a lot. Not positive why. Maybe I compare myself to others too much, maybe I try to make it all be perfect and if it isn’t I feel like I have failed, maybe it’s the constant feeling of never getting it all done, maybe it’s when their behavior is undesirable & I blame myself. I’m not sure, but I know I am trying to stop w/ the “mom guilt” and feelings of failure. I am also trying to teach my children…and I know that takes a long time. Not sure I can pinpoint the exact reason for my feelings of failure.