Her hair is perfectly coifed and her stylish clothes fit her skinny, unblemished body in all the right places. You would never know by looking at her spotless home that she has 3 young children. She effortlessly manages her home, able to balance homeschooling, her relationship with the Lord, her relationship with her husband, time spent loving on her children, and serving in the church. Somehow she never gets behind on the laundry. She never loses her temper, nor snaps at her children or husband. There is always a smile to be found on her flawless face. Every meal she makes is from scratch and is Pinterest worthy as are the parties she hosts.
Who is this seemingly perfect woman? She’s not real, but for me she has become my standard for being a “good” mom and wife. This “woman” is the combination of all of my friend’s gifts made up into one perfect woman. No matter how hard I try, I fall short of being her and I often feel like a failure–like a bad mom.
Do you ever feel this way? Do you compare your weaknesses to other women’s strengths? Maybe you’re like me and you have created a set of standards that you can never live up to and it leaves you feeling discouraged. For many of us perfection has become our goal and for some of us it gets uglier, it’s our idol. Anything less than perfect is seen as a failure.
Being a mom doesn’t come naturally to me. I come from a broken home and was raised by an emotionally distant dad. Somewhere along the way I started thinking that if I didn’t become the “perfect” mom that I thought my children needed that they were missing out on something great. But I am exactly the mom my children need. And you too are exactly the mom your children need. They need us to use our imperfections to point them to a perfect Savior. I pray that God is using all of my brokenness and lack of perfection to show my children that He is the only one that can save them.
God doesn’t compare you to any of your friends or any other person. He knows your strengths, your weaknesses, your fears, and all the areas in your heart that you hope never see the light of day. He knows everything there is to know about you and instead of trying to make you more like the woman next to you, He wants to make you more like Him. He is perfection. But there is something about His perfection that doesn’t drive us to envy- it drives us to humility. Sisters, instead of pursuing perfection, lets pursue humility; because it’s in our humility that we see our imperfect selves in need of a perfect Savior. Let’s admit out loud that we can’t do it all! Let’s find comfort in the fact that no one can. God gave us each unique gifts. Let’s celebrate our sisters’ gifts and stories. And let’s praise him for the gifts He’s given us.
“Grace only sticks to our imperfections. Those who can’t accept their imperfections can’t accept grace either.” –Donald Miller
Tonight as I prepare a non-Pinterest-y dinner with my unwashed hair in a ponytail I will remember this word–grace. We were never created to be good at everything. And those really ugly places in our hearts? Let’s take comfort in knowing that He is never finished with us.
Monica is a lover of Jesus, photographer, business owner, wife and mom of 3 boys. She loves teaching others about photography, writing about motherhood and spending time with her husband.