You name it—educationally—our family has experienced it in some way.
My husband and I grew up attending public school.
I went to a Christian college; he didn’t.
I’ve taught homeschoolers, part-timers, public schoolers, and Christian school kids.
Our boys went to the Christian school where I teach, but participated in activities with kids from home school and public school.
What have I learned?
Parenting is full of decisions that rest between your family and God. What the culture says is irrelevant.
School Options: Your Way or God’s Way via The MOB Society
Maybe your culture says, “All my kids go to ____________” (insert a schooling choice).
Is that what we’re called to?
We’re called to follow God’s leading in our lives, not to follow culture blindly like sheep. Look at each of your sons, individually. See them separately from one another and separately from your friends’ children.
We must be open to God’s leading about our boys’ needs. Are you seeing stress connected to your current educational situation? Is it healthy stress—just the product of growing up and learning that your son needs to face? Or is it unhealthy and unproductive stress?
A good friend of mine has three children who all have different needs, different strengths, and different weaknesses. Although the culture around them supports attending the school her husband graduated from and the pressure is great, she says, “They may all graduate from different schools. And that’s just fine.”
Pray, asking the Lord to open your eyes to your sons’ needs and to give you the flexibility to respond.
Schooling decisions aren’t forever.
Things change; kids change. Yes, you may have entered homeschooling thinking it was for your family, but the Lord may be calling you elsewhere. Be open; be flexible. Go where God leads.
If God is prompting you to consider another type of schooling, take stock of what’s out there. Options abound! From traditional public and private school to charter school to homeschooling and virtual schooling, there’s a menu of choices. And don’t be afraid to consider a blended approach. Some private schools will allow your child to enroll part-time; homeschooling co-ops are another idea if you don’t want to go it alone.
Pray, asking God to lead you to the right people and situations your family needs.
Don’t Get Caught in Expectations.
No matter what schooling your son is involved in, you may have expectations you’re not seeing fulfilled. Maybe he’s not Ivy League or Major League material—let go of those expectations! Do all you can, then accept the best your son can give. Search for other areas of success. Find his loves and talents and capitalize on those, always reinforcing the value of a good work ethic. In all things, he can “…work at it with all [his] heart, as working for the Lord, not for men…” (Col. 3:23).
Pray for the ability to see your son as God created him and the wisdom to guide him to what God has in store.
Help End the Mommy Wars
It’s hard enough being a Mom—we don’t need to be fighting each other. You may be sold on your brand of schooling, but please understand it may not be for everyone. God uses all kinds of situations for good in our lives, even when we don’t expect it. Have confidence in what God has called you to do with your family and stay open to His leading. Befriend the moms around you; we’re in this boy-raising thing together, and we need each other.
Pray for understanding for other moms, especially the moms you may not see eye-to-eye with. Ask God to give you a glimpse inside their hearts and to soften yours.
This decision isn’t about doing schooling our way – it’s about schooling our sons God’s way. Open your heart and mind to what He’s saying to you about your sons and their education.
Looking for more resources about your boys and school choice?
The Moment I Knew My Son Was Okay… – MOB Writer Amber Lia’s personal anecdote about her family’s educational journey
Keeping First Things First by Meg Meeker, M.D. – a post about school and beyond with your boys
The Me I Want to Be (Student Version): Becoming God’s Best Version of You by John Ortlund – a book to help your preteen and teen boys know who they are in Christ
Laura Lee Groves
Laura Lee Groves is the mother of four sons and the author of I’m Outnumbered! One Mom’s Lessons in the Lively Art of Raising Boys, in addition to Pearl, a novel about international adoption.
Want to learn more about Laura? Make sure to…
- …pop over to her blog: Outnumbered Mom
- …check out her books, “Pearl” and “I’m Outnumbered”
- …connect with her on Facebook and on Twitter.
Laura, I always appreciate your wisdom and insight. Most of all, I appreciate how you point us back to God.
We can’t do it without him, can we, Annette?! Thanks for chiming in.
This article is so true. Our first round of kids, we sent our kids to public school, parochial school, and we home schooled. I was pondering what to do with this round of our two boys, and God mad very clear for us we are to send our boys to a particular. This may change, but for now we send them there, whatever God tells us to do. I didn’t feel a peace with home schooling this round of our two boys, but didn’t know what we were to do, and God made it very clear to send them to the charter school, and also made them be picked in the lottery. I had to trust Him to make it happen.
Thanks for sharing your experience and wisdom, Joanne. Trusting God is definitely a necessity for us moms!
This is so good and so true and so liberating. Thank you, Laura!
I agree. God puts us everywhere.But be careful in how you interpret stress. I home school. The stress is real. Mostly it’s growing, healthy stress but sometimes it’s really hard or really exhausting. Sometimes I think of how much easier my days would be kid free.
But home schooling is my calling currently. I am good at what I call “the united front”. I just want things to be pleasant and normal, or Atleast seem to be. Homeschooling reveals my lack of patience, it calls out my secret laziness, it challenges me. Sometimes that challenge doesn’t look pretty. But I know that God has me here and intends to grow me.
Very true, well said and keep looking up – He is the only way through it all 🙂
I agree that there are options for us and we should certainly be praying for God’s wisdom and direction as to how to educate our children, but I fear there may be too much emphasis and making this decision based on how we feel or how we think God is talking to us. Have we been “called” to do a certain thing if God has not clearly and audibly said so? We need to immerse ourselves in His Word because all the answers to our prayers and questions will be found there. Just because we feel at peace about a decision does not mean that decision is aligned with God’s will. I cannot find any support for or any good argument for sending our children to public schools. They are run by a secular humanist government and teach anti-biblical principles, not to mention the exposure to unethical practices within peer groups. I went to public school and I think I turned out pretty good, there are a lot of people that have, but there are also a lot of people (and increasingly so) that have not. Good Christian children with good Christian parents that graduate as atheists is becoming more common and it is our responsibility to prevent that at all costs.
There are still lots of options out there but I don’t think you can, in good conscience, say that public schools is one of them.