How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.
As we sat watching a family-friendly movie on what had been labeled a “family-friendly” channel, I was shocked by the commercial that popped up and accosted the eyes of myself and my young boys. I must have looked like a crazy woman as I simultaneously tried to change the channel, tell the boys to look away, and leap to cover their eyes in case they didn’t do it themselves. The sexuality and violence in the commercial was definitely not family-friendly and I was not a happy mama. This commercial was a direct attack on their purity in all its forms.
My boys are still small and the honest truth is I don’t even want to talk about purity. It scares me. The topic makes me feel inadequate, not because I have a checkered past, but because purity is SO big and SO important. How in the world can I possibly keep them pure in this world?
The answer: I can’t.
I’m an encourager and I want to tell you right now, “Hey Mom, you’re doing a great job keep your kiddos pure and you have nothing to worry about!” But that would be a lie.
Many parents see sheltering their children as the most effective and practical solution for preserving purity. But even when my boys have been under my watchful eye, we’ve encountered things of this world that could cloud their minds. Billboards we drive by, magazines in the grocery store checkout aisle, words and and images and skin I wish they could un-see.
The Most Powerful Thing
The best solution for protecting the purity of my children is the most powerful thing we can do in this world: prayer.
These prayers aren’t just for the future choices my sons will make about sex. My prayers for purity are about their minds right now. They are prayers for protection and self-control and the wisdom to call on God for help when temptations arise or dark thoughts enter their minds. We talk a lot about purity when puberty hits, but our job is to turn their purity over to God by prayer beginning when they are very small.
My boys have become so good about telling each other to turn away when an inappropriate scene shows up on TV. Even my two-year-old will say, “This not my show!” when something comes on that he doesn’t think he should watch! I keep the lines of communication open so they can talk about when they have heard or seen something that bothers them. I don’t want them wrestling with impure thoughts on their own. I do what I can, but none of that matters if I’m not asking God to protect their purity, in all its forms, on a regular basis. Only He has the power to overcome the darkness that threatens the purity of our sons.
If you do have a teen and you are looking for resources to use to start a purity discussion, we would love to recommend the True Love Project!
Formerly known as True Love Waits, the True Love Project and the accompanying devotional, 40 Days of Purity for Guys, have this focus…
We live in a culture that shoves sex, porn, and lust in our faces constantly, and purity can seem impossible and even irrational. But it’s not. We have a powerful God fighting on our side, and His definition of sex and purity is so much more fulfilling that the world’s.Young men need guidance. They need to be taught how to check their egos, how to walk away from the wrong girls, how to starve and outsmart sexual temptation, and how to ask more important questions than “How far is too far?”Maybe more importantly, they need to learn how to not give up just because they mess up. And most importantly, they need to learn to let the Gospel define the kind of men they want to be.The world tells us all that sex is everything and that it comes with no boundaries. But God wants to help us fight for something greater. He continues to call us to purity, and these devotions offer a battle plan to step closer to purity each day.
We have TEN SETS of the True Love Project + 40 Days of Purity for Guys to giveaway this weekend! Just leave a comment discussing this chapter by Sunday, October 12th at 10PM EST to be entered!
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
1. Sometimes parents find it hard to talk to their children about sex because of their own impure pasts. If this describes you, take a minute to ask God to heal what He died to save. It’s so much easier to talk about the hard things with our children when we’re doing it from a place of health.
2. What are the implications of the fact that we’re not able to keep pure lives without God’s help?
Throughout the day, pray the ten scripture prayers found at the end of the Purity chapter in Praying for Boys!
Lover of Jesus, family, home. Wife, mommy, writer, runner.
Erin finds joy in her life as a Jesus-follower, doctor’s wife, mama to three handsome guys, writer at Home with the Boys, and co-founder of The MOB Society. She has a passion for healthy living, fashion, and encouraging families to form strong bonds based on faith!
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Wow, this hits me hard today! While doing a random check of my 11 yo text msgs last night, I learned that him and his girlfriend (his first) are planning to kiss today at school. I am freaking out about this! How can it be that my baby boy is at this point already? A thousand questions went thru my mind and are still unanswered. Like is this “normal” for 11 yo boys? What should I say or do? Is innocent kissing really a big deal? And how on earth do I cope with this milestone? I’m off to work this morning with a heavy heart as I pray my son will make the right decisions today. Thank you for posting this today! ~Amy
We definitely need this devotion! My son is 14 and not that interested in girls right now – he says he needs to concentrate on sports. I know this will change. I want to have open lines of communication. I want him to be able to talk to me about anything. I always talk to my children about being different in this world. This is one area that I really want them to be different.
Thanks for sharing. It’s encouraging to know that you’re not the only mom concerned about this. Too many people have told me bible studies are too much for the boys. I say “when has God’s word become “too much” for our kids. So thank for the MOB, because I now know that I’m not alone in this journey.
I love the part where she says they are prayers for protection and self control and for the wisdom to call on God for help when temptations rise and dark thoughts enter their minds! How powerful is that prayer! As a mom of two teen boys, I’m bathing them in that prayer. AMEN!
I love hearing more than the sheltering message – yes, I want to shelter my boys to protect their purity – that’s my job! My greater job is to teach them to BE pure and seek purity. With boys age 6 and 10, we already talk about serious subjects, guarding one’s eyes and heart, filling up on the Word of God and valuing the personhood, not the bodies, of women. Wow – it’s a lot to process, but our carnal world offers many, many learning and discussion opportunities!
Great Chapter! As I was praying the purity Scriptures for my 16 yr old son this morning I was reminded of a quote from a Scottish pastor from the 1800’s: “My people’s greatest need is my personal holiness.” Upon reflection, I realized how much it also relates to my parenting. Personal holiness is all about having a relationship with God, allowing ourselves to be changed by Him. The more I get to know His heart, He reveals the secrets of my own heart. Is my lifestyle matching my teaching? Do my kids see their mom being honest, humble, caring about others? Am I willing to work as hard to attain my goals as I require them to? Purity is more than abstaining from sex before marriage. It is a lifestyle that shows ones’ walk with the Lord is most important. My kids don’t need the world’s most awesome mom, they need one who simply loves Jesus with all her heart. Truly, my kids’ greatest need is my own personal relationship with the Lord. IfI don’t have the walk that matches the talk, how on earth can I expect them to? No student is above his teacher. So while I pray for my son to flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace (2 Tim 2:22) I also pray for myself…to love God with all my heart and be the kind of mom my son can follow. Thanks for the inspiration! I am immensely enjoying the book and these blog posts.
I love that your boys remind each other to look away from questionable influences. And there are plenty to be had. So true that purity isn’t just about the topic of sex, but all the thoughts, actions, etc we are exposed to and whether we choose to open the door to them or keep it shut tightly! Thank you Erin! Grounded words with great impact in my life.
We also completed Passport To Purity through Family Life with our then 13 year old son. Included in the curriculum for the big father/son weekend is hands on teachings, and my son took them to heart. But, this purity needs to still be prayed for now that he is 19, and my three and four year old boys could potentially be exposed to more now than my 19 year old when he was three and four years old. Diligence just can’t stop including for my own walk and their purity.
My husband comes from a background that is so painful that believing in God was … Well, let’s just say it wasn’t. He was sexually abused and ‘taught’ that sexual purity was not only impossible (because it was taken from him) but he was also expected, as a man, to participate with pornography without concern or though for his future because it’s ‘noemal’. As God and I came into his life everything got shaken up. Although pornography can still be a struggle for him at times today (as we/he goes through recovery), we both pray for our two boys purity earnestly; as their eyes are a gateway to the hearts.
I hope this makes me/us eligible for the books, as this topic is my greatest fear for my sons. They are still young, I know God is breaking the cycle, I just want to do everything I can alongside Him.
This one has been the toughest topic so far to think about. My son is younger, so I have been pondering how to work with this topic in a constructive way. These are great tips. Thanks. So far this challenges has been exactly what I needed during a challenging time for my son. God really put this in my path for a reason–God Bless you!
Would LOVE this devotional! We are a part of a very small church and not many boys of my son’s age so this issue isn’t addressed and I have another boy getting really close to adolescence too :-/ This is, in my opinion, a huge topic that needs to be reiterated over and over in the lives of our boys but is SO tricky to navigate. I have loved this blog and the recent exhortations toward personal holiness and wisdom. Thank you for the chance to win and for the guidance on this journey : ) Blessings!
This is such an important topic to discuss. My son is turning 9 next week and we talk a lot about this already. He often says to me, when watching a movie or show, “why do the girls have to wear such little clothing? Don’t they respect themselves at all?” I love hearing him say that… makes me proud. But also, as a single mom, I find it hard to really address all that purity entails because, well, I’m a girl and he’s a boy. So I am really looking forward to reading this devotion and putting my son’s purity in God’s hands… where it belongs!
We can not expect to shelter our boys into manhood, we must find ways to lead and encourage them into making the right decisions on their own. The desire to remain pure must become THEIR desire or it will never happen. Just like seeking God, personal Bible Study and attending Church, if it doesn’t come from their heart then they are just attending momma’s church till they are old enough to leave and do their own thing. Teenage boys are seeking their manhood, they want to make their own decisions. Information needs to be presented to them in ways that will create a desire to ‘be that man’ so it can be their decision to do it.
This is such a huge issue. So much is available to them at any moment. Even if we make our homes as safe as possible, it means nothing when they are on their own. They have to learn control for themselves in this area. Prayer for it is essential!
My son is only 3 and my daughter is 16 months. Its never too early to start praying for their purity. We pray that both kids will desire God above all else. We pray for the purity of their future friends and spouses. As bad as the world is around them, we know that God can make them different. He can make them into pure and righteous kids, teenagers, then adults. My husband and I are also youth ministers in our church so purity is something we discuss . The devotional would be great to share with our youth boys.
This is a topic heavy on my heart and to have this resource would be a blessing. I would love the opportunity to have a chance to read through it and establish a better plan to address this issue of purity so I am better equipped to guide my boys. Thanks MOB society for always having such great resources to suggest for us mommies!!!
My son is 11 and I hate to even think about talking with him about purity. But I have had to speak to him about thoughts and the way we act around girls. The kids today move so much faster than they did when I was younger. But as I stop and think about the way I acted in high school and my young twenties, I am scared to death. I pray that my son would be secure about himself, be strong and confident in all that he does. I pray he would always follow Jesus and not let this world drag him down like it did me. I pray for myself to follow Jesus when i am talking to or teaching my son. it is so hard for me, since well I am not a boy and everyone else in the house is a girl and I don’t get my boy most of the time.
Have been loving this devotional! And I take little amounts of time everyday, throughout the day, to say small things to each of my boys, about purity & respecting a girl for who they are. Trying to raise wonderful, respectful young men in a society which makes it very hard!!
Recently a Victoria Secret commercial came in the tv. My son turned to me and said, “I shouldn’t watch this, right Mommy?” It was a moment when everything seemed to be getting through to my son. Sadly, in our culture, I can’t protect my son from every bare babe or boob in the world. Thankful for this chapter and the power of prayer over my son’s life. I want him to be pure as he grows up, but also be aware if the dangers around him.
My little man is under 1, but I’ve been praying for him , since before he was born! Scares me to death to be raising a child in the world we live in and I pray he will grow up to be a Christian leader, no matter his vocation.
Oh how this hits home. Here recently I’ve been forced to realize my baby is growing up. Seriously no stuffed animals as gifts kind of growing up. I almost fainted in the store today when he asked to get deodorant and body spray. He’s 9 and in a few short month will be 10. I want my blinders back on. It’s just me and him since his father has passed. I’m the eldest of three girls, I know nothing about raising boys. Mason walked the aisle a couple weeks ago and will be baptized in a few weeks. Thanks for the opportunity to try and win a copy of this book that apparently I’m going to need sooner rather than later….
Mom of 4 boys here. Boy oh boy! It didn’t take long to realize that purity for boys is a challenge entirely separate from what I experienced. It’s as though it’s a right of passage for a young man to sexualize women in today’s society. It makes me sad. My husband and I are open (age appropriately) with our boys. We were both older than most of our peers, but neither of us remained pure. For both of us pressure to fit in won over morality. This spurred a sequence of rushing into the wrong relationships. Unfortunately our children have suffered as a result. Most of them are from previous relationships, broken homes, before we let GOD have control. This is what we explain to them, that waiting for GOD to bring along the person HE has planned will save them heartache, their wives heartache and their children. It’s hard to teach them what we had to mess up and stumble through to learn. We keep trusting. I’m rambling. Just knowing there are other moms trying to protect the purity of our boys is an answered prayer. What a great blessing it is that you are offering this guide. Thanks for the opportunity.
With 4 boys and a family history of adultery, and promiscuity this chapter is so important to us. Praying for purity for them is just as important as praying for their salvation. Thank you!
Our boys are 10 & 6. We have had age appropriate discussions about sexual purity with both of them. I am very interested in a resource like this devotional to help make it more of a positive focus everyday as they face the everyday struggle.
Even though my boys are little, I would love to have this as a resource. It would be great to read now, as a guide to where we are going!!
I am a single mom of a 15 year old. This is something that has been on my mind alot lately.
Similar to Erin’s young boys, my 14 year old is learning to turn from temptation. He turns away from TV when things are “beginning to go no where”. He looks up movie ratings before watching anything. And avoids the popular music of today that had explicit words in them. But the True Love Project would be right up our alley to stay on track.
My boys are a little young to go through this on their own, but I would love to go through out first and pray for them until they reach an age where they are ready for it.
I am having some discussions with my son who is 11. This society is a scary place when it comes to keeping your purity. But it can be done and I am glad to be reminded about this book and most importantly praying for my son’ purity. Thanks for the article.
My son is almost 13. I’ve homeschooled him and tried SO HARD to keep him pure. I’ve monitored his reading material, movies, music, and friendships. I’ve had long conversations with him warning of the dangers of purity and what to look for. I’ve sacrificed much in giving him good socialization with good boys. He’s a good boy,but Satan is after our boys and he’s gotten a hold of one of the loves of my life. Moms beware! I allowed him to play with 2 boys that lived right next to me and across the street. He was never further than a house away. They played sports all day. I’d pop out to check because I knew that boys can get curious and mischievous. I’m not sure which boy was the cause, it may have been even my own, but what I recently found was horrible. My heart is broken at the language he is using with them and the images he is exposed to and the activities he is involved in. ELECTRONICS is the medium that the devil is using. Take away the ipods, the iphones, the youtube and google accounts! Please! Don’t let what happened to my son happen to yours. Watch for Geometry Dash, Musically, Snapchat, and anything and everything on the device. I found they are all social media. What seems innocent enough is really not and these things all connect our kids to the outside world. I thought I had a handle on it! I had his password. I randomly took his device and checked. Don’t bother with all that. Just take it away.
My son, Luke, is 15, and seems to “like” a “New girl” every few weeks!! lol And since he got into some “troubles” at school last year, we had a talk w/ him about “Girls” and How God’s Word explains *Purity* and how Men should “act”. But after a few minutes of talking, I am not sure how much “info.” he is ACTUALLY retaining!!!! These Devotionals would be SO GREAT for him, as I KNOW they would help him Understand how to Stay “Pure”!!!! With his ADHD, he his mind “wabders” a lot, and I KNOW its hard for him to stay “focused” at times, on HOW to Stay *PURE* and grow into the Godly Man We want him to be!!!!:-)