Dear precious boy-mama,
First, let me say I stand in awe of you and I think you’re a rockstar! Your patience and fortitude, consistency and determination are a joy to behold. I am so thankful to know you are living your days with conviction and purpose and raising the men who will one day impact the world. Mama, I’m thankful for you!
When I was your age, I had one little girl and my heart yearned for more, especially a son, but God had a different plan for me and my husband. We struggled for years with infertility and failed adoptions. Now our girl is all grown up and she’s given us two adorable grandchildren. The firstborn is a boy, just turned four and the second is a girl, two. And let me tell you, the difference between them blows my mind!
Holy tornado Batman!! The mess one little boy can make is astounding, the tantrums epic, the noise earsplitting! The love and snuggles, however warm my heart more than just about anything else!
When I found out I had a grandson, I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t ‘get’ boys. Their world and ways were utterly foreign to me, but the moment I held my grandson in my arms, my heart became completely, utterly his. He’s opened something profound in me which only grows and deepens as the years pass.
I never had the privilege of being a boy-mom but I’m beyond blessed to be a boy grandma and I think I ‘get’ boys a little better now! I have an idea just how hard it is to raise a son in this crazy mixed up world we call home.
Boys want to get right in the dirt, splash in every puddle, pick up every dead, gross thing (to ‘show mommy’) and explore every nook and cranny everywhere they go. And let’s not forget shenanigans like picking the gum off the bottom of a table in a restaurant and tasting it.
Girls are more dainty. They don’t have the capacity to pee anywhere they want anytime and don’t delight in bodily noises quite as enthusiastically as boys. They’re content having a tea party or playing quietly with dolls versus the boys who want to jump off the couch, sword in hand, superhero cape firmly attached to their shoulders!
Girls want to be princesses.
Boys want to be pirates.
I get it and I love it!
As a grandmother, I have the privilege of simply enjoying my grandson. I love to let his imagination take flight and I’m delighted to adventure with him in the backyard. Whether it’s a sword fight with light sabers or hitting golf balls in the yard, building giant forts out of blankets or playing make believe with costumes and props, I’m all in.
Little boys still believe in magic.
in superheroes,
in Mommy and Daddy as the greatest, best-est friends.
But I see the backstory too–the mountains of laundry, the daily mess, the discipline needed to harness all that creative energy, the teaching and modeling necessary to take a little rambunctious four year old and consistently guide him along the path to Christ and turning him into a man who can impact the world for God.
As I watch my daughter raise her son I stand in awe. Not because she’s doing it perfectly. (She’s not and she’d be the first one to tell you.) No, it’s because she’s consistent and she’s driven by love. She’s building his future day by day and year by year.
I know you’re doing the same. You’re building your boys into men who have the capacity to change the world.
Do you have any idea how valuable you are? Do you even have a clue, as you fold pile after endless pile of laundry, how good a job you’re doing? I can see how hard it is to mother a boy; especially in a world that undermines and emasculates men at every turn.
Mama, I’m thankful for you. Your steadfast love, your determination, consistency, conviction and willingness to stand in the gap for a generation of boys who the Devil is doing all he can to destroy.
Your sons are the ones who will stand up for Christ as the world grows dark. They will be the ones shining His light because you stood your ground day after day.
So, in a season of thankfulness, I thank God for you and encourage you in this: your work has eternal value. It has eternal impact and though the days are long and hard and you can’t see it over the mountains of laundry, one day you will and it will be everything you ever dreamed.
So hang in there sweet mama.
How can I pray for you? It would be my honor.
Hugs!
Thank you for the encouragement! We are raising five boys and a little girl sandwiched in the middle! Pray that as I am in the trenches, I work as unto the Lord and not for man’s approval. The world looks at us as foreign and strange. I want to be the question ark that points to CHRIST. Keeping in balance the fact that I don’t need the approval of this world. Thank you again, much needed for my soul this morning!
Emilee-God has richly blessed you mama! Six children, how amazing 😉 Praying God’s grace to richly pour down on you today and that He will fill you with the knowledge of His will for your precious family. You are a signpost pointing directly to His grace, blessing and provision! I pray you’ll seek Him with your whole heart while you’re in the trenches. Blessings!!
Thank you for sharing your story and for the encouragement! I have one six year old son (an only child as also have not been able to have another) who is everything that you described your grandson to be. He is our greatest delight and provides our biggest challenge as we try to guide him to be a godly young man with a heart for Jesus. It is a day by day, hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute challenge to harness that wonderful energy for good. Thank you for helping me feel that I am not alone.
Hi Colleen! I’m so glad my story was encouraging! Boys are incredible and amazing and exhausting all at the same moment! But I’m sure you’re up to the task of raising him to be a man who loves God with his whole heart. It will take consistent love and discipline but thank God for mamas like you who have the desire to raise sons who will change the world. I’m lifting you up today and asking the Lord to wash you in His love. He created your son specifically for you to raise and I pray He will give you all the strength you need. Hugs!
This was so on time. Thank you for your encouragement and the smile your post brought to my face – I had a beautiful would-be-4-year-old daughter who was all you described girls to be, and I still have a precocious 16-month-old son. I feel SO not up to the task of raising him, especially now as I wade through the grief and feelings of incompleteness since my daughter was called Home in April. Please pray that I am able to raise my son up as he deserves, not through the lens of my own walk right now, and that the total upheaval of his family that he knew since birth would not effect him too negatively as he grows up. That’s what I worry about – that he will know love, fair discipline, and his Mama’s WHOLE heart just as he would have if we had not suffered tragedy. He is still here, and is my JOYOUS gift from God – I need the strength to raise him up as such, even if we are not blessed with other children and even though our family does not look like what we had planned. I know God’s plan is bigger and better, so I’m walking in that trust now, for all 4 of us – me, my son, my prodigal husband, and my precious little girl who is waiting for us.
Oh sweet friend–your story touches all of our hearts and the heart of God and know He deeply feels the grief and pain you’re going through. I can tell by your words you’re a mama who will be an awesome example to her son, an example of courage, love and faithfulness in the hard times. We can’t begin to understand God’s ways and it’s hard and confusing at times. But we can know He is always good and always for OUR good even when it makes no sense. I’m praying He will flood you with peace today and a sense of His presence like you’ve never known. His peace and grace and will help you to be able to enjoy your precious son and all the gifts he brings your family. Grace to you friend!
I loved this blog post. Thank you! I have a four year old boy and a two year old girl. And my son is all you described and more. I describe him as 200% boy. He is all go all the time. But little girl has recently hit the tough to hand two year old stage and between the two of them I am just exhausted all the time. I get so tired of constantly correcting, redirecting, and breaking up arguments. I’m tempted (and have given in at times) to just give up and swing too far on the harsh side or too far to the lenient side. I am praying for God to give me wisdom in the stage of life as I am feeling totally unequipped for what I find myself in the midst of. Again, thanks for your post, it was beautiful!
Oh Sarah, your kiddos sound just like my grandchildren! My little 4 year old grandson is totally boy and the 2 year old truly believes she’s a princess and just beginning to assert her will. I know just how tiring it can be and I experience it every time I babysit! It’s a balancing act for sure and I’m agreeing with you in prayer that God will fill you with His wisdom. Believe me, you’re more equipped than you think you are. If you have the opportunity to connect with some older moms who’ve already walked through the stages you’re dealing with, it would be so helpful. Or maybe your church has a mom’s group you could participate in and meet some other moms to find out what’s working for them. Hang in there, I promise you this stage won’t last forever but let me encourage you to stay strong and consistent. The work you’re doing now will pay big benefits later. Keep disciplining with Godly wisdom and consistency and you’ll see change, I promise. Bless you!
Sarah–Oh, I feel you mama. My grandchildren are the exact same age and my little precious granddaughter is definitely in the 2 year old stage. I know just what you’re going through and I know how very difficult it can be. I think these are some of the hardest years of parenting but at the same time, the most critical as these are the years character is being formed and discipline is the most important. I’m praying with you for wisdom and also grace to give yourself a break! You’re doing much better than you think you are, I guarantee you. Hang in there, be intentional, set boundaries and don’t be afraid to discipline consistently but with love. It will pay off hugely in the years to come, believe me. Praying!
Thank you. You sound like a sweet friend. And I gladly receive your virtual hug.
Cheri–It’s so easy to get stuck in all the many tasks of each day and if we’re not careful and intentional, they can quickly overwhelm. I know exactly where you’re coming from! When I spend time with my grandchildren, I feel like I’m in the middle of a tornado;) Kids come with messes but we don’t want to miss the child in the midst of the mess! Praying God will give you eyes to see your boys differently, not as mess and smell creators (which all boys are!) but as masterpieces created in the Master’s image. You ARE raising Godly men. I give you permission to relax and enjoy them. Try to start your day a little before they get up, even if it’s only 15 minutes, and take that time to focus, pray and read a little scripture. I know as you raise your boys God will give you the calm heart and content spirit you need to enjoy the stages they’re in right now. It seems endless at the moment but trust me, it goes faster than you think! Bless you sweet Cheri, I’m lifting you up today! Hugs 🙂
Thank you so much for your words. I needed to hear them today. People ask me all the time if my son “always has this much energy” and I feel so weary every day with a baby girl and with working my job from home and being an involved in ministry associate pastor’s wife. Thank you for the reminder that I am “beginning with the end in sight”. What reaffirming words.