Welcome to Titus Two Saturdays (TTS) at the MOB Society! Titus-2-Refreshment-for-Real-Moms-600.jpg-1 (1)

Because we know how important it is for older women to be speaking into the lives of younger women,  every Saturday we ask a couple of women from our Titus Two team to answer a question that has been featured in our Question From A Boymom series. 
This weeks question:

So often I feel like all I’m doing is managing our home and trying to just keep up or catch up with the things that need to be done to take care of the physical needs of our boys. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking etc. takes up so much time that I feel like I’m never able to actually “play” with my 3, 5 and 9 year old boys or spend any quality time engaging them. I really need some encouragement today for the harder more physically demanding years of boyhood? How do you moms do it?

Julie Titus Sanders:

“As this school year closes in our household, I feel like a bell has tolled. I have one short year left with my boy at home. Suddenly, the hands of the clock seem are racing with speed I can’t slow. I want more time to enjoy him, to play with him, to listen to him, to know him. The demands of life like laundry and dishes have been my task masters, too, and I’ve fought the fight of every mom: to balance our work while being accessible to our children. After all, the food won’t cook itself! But time is short. Time has always been short, and now I feel it. You are such a wise mom to ask this question before your tribe has even marked a decade. You are on the right track.

Ask yourself this question every day

The mom who misses her opportunity to enjoy her boys is the mom who never asks this question or sees the potential for tasks to steal the time. Every day, consider how to be a good steward of your job as a mom.  This job includes the “duties,” but it also includes relationships.  Give yourself permission to engage your boys as part of your tasks, but also without the distraction of the tasks. “I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil – this is God’s gift to man,” (Ecclesiastes 3:12-13). Your busy boys will certainly create a lot of work, but your boys ARE your work. Investing in them through play and enjoyment of each other is a sweet part of your role. Don’t let the taskmaster of duties rob you or them of the joy! Ask God to steer you every day It’s not easy to make choices every day, all day, about how to spend our time. We want our boys to appreciate a clean, orderly, peaceful home. We want our families to be well fed, clothed, educated, and cared for. But relational investment ranks right up there as a priority for a mom’s limited time and energy. To play with, laugh with, listen to, enjoy, and explore with your boy is part of your commission as a mama. Don’t feel guilty when you order a pizza, accept some wrinkles, smile at dust, or walk through crumbs in order to enjoy your boys. Time is short, sweet friend. Whether or not we feel the urgency of making the most of our days with our sons, the clock is ticking. God invites you to take pleasure in your boys, to know them and be known by them. It will be time well spent, and the dishes will wait.”

Kate Battistelli:

“Managing a home and raising 3 boys certainly entails a lot of work! That said, I’ve never been one to believe mom has to do every single thing in a household to keep it running. It’s a home, not a hotel! You want your boys to begin learning it takes a lot of work to run a household and keep things humming!
Your nine year old is certainly old enough to begin helping you with daily tasks needing to be done. He can learn to sort and fold laundry, set the table and clean up the dishes, do some basic cleaning and begin learning the life skills that will help him run his own home some day. He can help the younger siblings get breakfast and he’s old enough to make simple lunches. The five year old can begin doing simple chores as well. Your three year old might start with basic tasks like matching socks (I’m sure you have lots of socks with three little boys!) or folding underwear. When they’re little like the three year old, you can make it into more of a teaching moment. For example, have him pull out and count all the tee-shirts or blue socks. Or, let him help you measure ingredients for a meal or pick up all the legos and put them in a box.
The important message I’m trying to convey is this: It shouldn’t all be on your shoulders! They’re plenty old enough to have daily and weekly chores and the skills they learn now will help them throughout their lives. I think chore charts are an excellent tool and when they know completing their chores will earn them treats or rewards at the end of the week, it’s a great motivator.
The more training you do now, the better. As they take on some of the responsibility you’ll have more time to engage with them, play and interact with them. You’re raising men and men need to know how to do laundry, clean and cook!  One last benefit–their future roommates and/or wives will be deeply grateful you trained them so well!”

Meet the Titus Two Team!

Be sure you take the time to get to know Julie, Gina, Tracey, Laura, Kate, and Jan!