A Letter to My Future Daughter-In-Law About Thankfulness

Dear future daughter-in-law,

The very first thing I want you to know is that I’ve been praying for you since you were a little girl. And by the time you read this, you’ll be a grown woman. I picture you…not the way you look on the outside, but the way God made you, the gifts you have, your talents, your beautiful heart.

One day, you’ll be our daughter-in-law and I can’t wait to finally meet you face to face.

My deepest desire foryou isn't wrapped

It’s occurred to me lately, that even though you won’t read this letter until you’re close to your wedding day…it’s important to me that you know what’s been on this mama’s heart all these years–and you, dear daughter, have surely been on my heart.

My deepest desire for you and my son isn’t wrapped up in the words  “happily ever after”, but instead, I pray you will experience wild joy together as you seek God’s blessings in the everyday.

Of course, I pray there is happiness in your life now and for all your married days together, but happiness is circumstantial and we know that life sometimes just isn’t fair. Instead, it’s messy and hard and beautiful all at the same time. There will be days when you wonder, “Why does it have to be so hard?”

The answer to that question can only be found deep within the pages of God’s love letter to us, the Bible. And the one thing that continues to grip me more than anything I find in God’s Word is the art and act and choice we can make to be thankful in all things.

Thankful. 

Just one little word that lies at the root of all peace, joy, contentment, grace and freedom.

I am praying that seeds of faith are being planted deep within your heart, that you are experiencing God’s great love for you, His precious child. I hope that someday when you and my son finally find one another, that you will spend all the days of your life together looking for all kinds of reasons to be thankful together, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. Oh, how I pray that God will teach you both how to be thankful, even during the harder times of life.

I want you to know we are doing our best to prepare our son for you, for that day when the two of you shall be joined as one.

The miraculous thing about the heart that finds the blessings in ALL seasons and in ALL things…is that it builds our trust in God and causes us to be braver and bolder in our faith. Be brave, my daughter. Trust in God with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding and thank Him in all things. Right there…thanksgiving…that’s the secret to a Joy-filled woman and a “Joyfully ever after” kind of marriage.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

You are dearly loved and prayed for sweet one.

Love,
You Future Mother-in Law

A Call to Action:

If you were going to write a letter to your future daughter-in-law, what would you want to tell her? Go ahead, write that letter. And if you are feeling led, like I am, let’s keep writing to them as God grows us in our faith and wisdom. Someday, these will be a blessing to them.

Let’s Pray:

Heavenly Father, we are so thankful for the blessings of our sons. Whether our boys are young or nearing the age of adulthood, we lift up the women they will one day marry. Keep us accountable, Lord, to praying specifically for their hearts as they are being prepared for our sons. We pray that above all else, that they would learn to love well from the One who created them. Help them both to see the blessings in every circumstance as they live and grow in their faith now and when they are united as husband and wife.

Megan Spires is mom to 4 boys, passionate about encouraging moms in their faith, is inspired by others willing to share their real-life stories and finds joy in the everyday of Motherhood.

The Healthy Living Blog Tour (April 21-25)

Have you been thinking that your life needs a healthier focus? Wanted practical tips for making better decisions about the everyday tasks of life? Wondered how to use more natural approaches to taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

Next week, the MOB Society is participating in the Healthy Living Blog Tour, bringing you practical tips for a more natural approach to life.

practical tips for a more natural approach to life.

The bloggers in the tour will share tips for:

  • Understanding what you put in your body (at www.brookemcglothlin.com)
  • Staying hydrated naturally (at www.homewiththeboys.net)
  • Breastfeeding and essential oils (at www.mamaisoiled.com)
  • Pregnancy health (at www.kellistuart.com)
  • The importance of rest (at www.melissasmallwood.com)
  • An intro to essential oils (at www.acreativebuzz.com)
  • Cooking with essential oils (at www.kristinschell.com)
  • Dealing with adult acne (at www.ahavagloria.wordpress.com)

Yes, there’s a theme woven throughout this blog tour—learning the basics of essential oil use! We’re excited to bring you this incredibly practical guide to how essential oils can benefit your day-to-day health! To celebrate, we’ll be giving away a Family Physician Kit on the last day of the tour. Entries will start Monday, and you can enter to win it at any stop in the tour.

We’ll pick a winner Thursday night at 9PM EST, and announce that winner on Friday’s post here at the MOB Society.

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The FPK provides you with a sampling of ten of doTERRA’s most popular, and most useful oils and oil blends. You receive 5ml bottles of:

  • Lemon
  • Lavender
  • Peppermint
  • Melaleuca (Tea Tree Oil)
  • Oregano
  • Frankincense
  • Deep Blue
  • Breathe
  • DigestZen
  • On Guard

Read more about the way my family is using these particular oils in this post. It’s a fantastic way to get started using essential oils!

So make plans to join us next week for the Healthy Living Blog Tour, and in the meantime, if you’re interested in learning more about essential oils, request to join our Oily MOB Facebook group. We’re having a ton of fun helping each other make the most of these amazing little tools!

See you Monday!

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What Brings Her Joy?

Honestly, thinking about marrying off my baby boy one day downright terrifies me. I’ve prayed for my children and the right mate before they even took their first breath. I remember carrying each of them, with so much wonder and a little terror because I knew what frailty our hearts and flesh bring into this life. I’ve not prayed as fervently recently as I probably should, but thinking about this stirs all kinds of emotions. I see my son bringing in mudpies through our kitchen and spontaneously gifting me with tiny white flowers growing in our weeds now that spring is here (the best flowers, hands down). Life won’t always be this simple.

dau voire

I like to think that maybe one day he and I can talk about all of this at an age where he might be open to my words, and pocket of experience. I hope that in some way by then I will have won his heart, and his trust. I imagine us in our kitchen talking while his younger sister dribbles the basketball outside one afternoon. Iced tea glasses would be sweating rings of water on our counter and he’d be ready to talk about something I was mostly dreading but anxious to chime in on too. I’d have to be careful not to sweep over his heart in my attempt to protect him.

First, I’d want to hear what he has to say. I want that door to always, always be open. No matter what. Once I let him talk about whatever was on his heart about all of this, I’d tell him that there isn’t anything wrong with looking for a pretty girl but that “pretty” only goes so far. I’d try to help him understand beauty only goes so deep. I’d challenge him to find someone he can be BEST FRIENDS with.

I’d also tell him that you can tell a lot from a person by watching what makes their world go round. What brings this girl joy? Is it always all about her? Does she enjoy helping others? Mission work? Children’s ministry? What is she about, past her outward appearances?

I’d try to help him see that ten years from now, the things that bring her joy are more likely to be magnified in that time frame, rather than change. What she is made of will be more important and valuable to the success and happiness of their marriage than anything else about her.

I’d ask him to look deep and pray. And to be brutally honest with himself.

 

The Rest Will Follow

Dear son,

I sit by the window and stare at the bouquet on the table, daydreaming of the day you’re grown. A day that’s closer than I can possibly realize.

And on that day, you’ll stand tuxedo-clad at the end of an aisle with your hands clasped in front of you, waiting for the girl of your dreams to glide to you, carrying a beautiful bouquet of her own.

-It's almost never foundnear

It seems too early to tell you all this, but I know when you finally need to know, you will not have heard it a minute too soon. So I’m going to just say it even if you don’t yet understand it because girls are tricky. When you’re just beginning to navigate your relationships with them, you need to know they’ll be much better at them than you and I don’t want you to be lost in the confusion.

There’s a process in discerning what to look for in a girl–this girl who’ll become your wife. And while this letter may be the first of many I’ll write, I wanted to begin with the most important thing.

I wanted to start with the trait you should look for first, before all the others because when you find it, you’ll likely find the others resting on it’s sturdy foundation.

It’s the opposite of pride.

It’s almost never found near selfishness, and always comes with its friends, wisdom and honor.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the Lord, and humility comes before honor.
Proverbs 11:2, 15:33 (NIV)

And so you ask, what exactly does humility actually look like?

Oh son, when you see it, you’ll know.

Humility is when you get into an argument and she’s willing to talk it through; when she listens without interrupting, and is open to the fact that she is wrong.

Humility is when she admits her fault, and says sorry without hesitation.

You’ll recognize humility when you make a wrong turn and you’re embarrassingly late to that event she’s been looking forward to so long.  Instead of berating you for her loss, she leans in with a grin, and tells you how everyone makes mistakes. Before long you’re laughing and stopping in for a milkshake you hadn’t planned to have, a new plan filled with grace.

Humility is when she’s not upset when you see her without makeup, when she’s not swayed by a name brand, and when she thanks you for how you provide.

You’ll see it when she insists on ordering the pizza toppings you want, even though she doesn’t prefer them.

It will be evidenced when she volunteers to see that action/thriller you’ve been dying to see, even though a romantic comedy is more her style.

Humility is when she looks out for others before herself, confidently reaching out to consider the needs,wants and hurts of others–actively pursuing them with a selfless compassion far beyond her years.

She’ll be the one willing to be served last, the one who volunteers to clean up first, and the one who looks you right in the eye when you’re talking, because she cares about your heart behind every word.

Humility may not be everything, but it’s the beginning of wisdom and honor… [Tweet that]

Humility leads, and the rest will follow.

And as you sort through these things, know I’m here.

Waiting and watching and cheering as you find her.

The girl who’ll be yours through all the years.

Lord Jesus, thank you for the gift of our sons. Help us, as their mamas, to draw close to your heart. Remake us each day, to be more like you, that our sons would see and know by experience the kind of character to look for in a wife someday. Help us lay down our pride, surrender our selfishness, and extend humility in our everyday lives. And may wisdom and honor be ours as we model for them the kind of woman they need. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

What does humility mean to you? How would you explain it to your son?

~Jacque Watkins   jacquewatkins.com

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How do I Stop Yelling? (Titus Two Saturdays)

Welcome to Titus Two Saturdays (TTS) at the MOB Society!

After such a positive response to our new feature last Saturday, we decided that it might be nice for a weary mama to wake up every Saturday morning to read wisdom from our Titus Two Team. So we’re making TTS a weekly feature! (Don’t miss an extra special announcement at the end of this post)!

This week’s Question:

“I am trying to refrain from yelling when my 4 year old won’t listen or throws a fit when I tell him no. What have you found to be effective when you’re at a point of becoming unglued?”

Tracey Eyster

Hey there sweet mom – fret not, you are no doubt an amazing and loving mom! Rest assured we have all been there, the dreaded “no” and bowed up attitude in a kid! First of all, fast forward to the teen years and cling to the fact that if you learn to wrangle this attitude for God’s purposes that “you can’t make me” attitude will become a blessing. No one will ever make your child do anything he doesn’t want to do! I know this – I have one!

First of all when you start to boil, take a deep breath, lift up a quick a prayer and remind yourself – you are the mom that is to train your children in the way they should go and you have to hold it together! The way I see it you have two options – become a silly mom and get past the behavior in a light hearted way or disengage completely so that you are not reacting, thus rewarding the child’s behavior. Because even a bad reaction is engagement to a child. I have used both methods consistently based on the nature of the offense.

For what I would call bad attitude, and being tired or overwhelmed, I chose silliness or fun play to motivate my children. It’s basically a form of distraction, but in the process of using this method our relationship was strengthened. Example: “Billy time for bed, get on your pajamas and brush your teeth!” Met with whine, complain because Billy is wiped out and grouchy leads to, “Billy put on your teeth and brush your pajamas!” Which leads to laughing, which leads to a little tickling, come on I’ll get my toothbrush and let’s see if we can say our ABC’s while brushing our teeth together! Bad attitude averted by distraction and interaction! Silliness, light hearted, relationship strengthening.

However, for what I would call willful defiance they get a different approach. It’s a simple concept that’s hard to consistently model. Bad behavior ignored. When a child’s negative behavior leads to a disengaged parent a child will discontinue that behavior because there is no reward. Whenever your “anger” trigger is switched, instead of frustration and anger work hard to show indifference and ignore your child’s behavior and even your child. When my kids were young and would throw a fit or react towards me with willful disobedience I would get down on their level, look them straight in the eye and state, “when you act unkind, disrespectful and ugly to me I can no longer hear you, so as long as you are acting that way you will be ignored.”

If it ramped up, I sent them to their room and continued to ignore. Once quiet resumed, I had a talk with them about how they treat other people, taught reconciliation by apology, forgiveness was given and relationship strengthened. But because I was consistent in this reaction it didn’t happen often or last long in our home. Because I am normally so engaged with them they HATED it when I ignored them.

Sweet mom, you are the mom God chose for your children and He will enable and equip. Your goal is to build relationship with your child while teaching, and while I know it is so hard to stay consistent, keep at it! You can do this! Blessings and big o hug, ~ Tracey

Laura Lee Groves

First of all, you’re not alone. Know that we all lose it at one time or another. There’s a slight dent in my stainless kitchen sink to remind me of the day the boys were SO loud I banged a pot there—and probably followed it with words that were louder than they should have been.

What has helped me when I was about to come unglued? I tried to…

1. Walk away, even if just for a second. Being in my own space for just a second would help me get perspective.

2. Pray. Silently, out loud, whatever works. I don’t know how many times people heard me say, “Lord, help me with these boys.” People probably thought I was being funny, but it was an all-too-true plea. And it reminds you—and your boy—that you’re not alone in this.

3. Be calm. If he’s throwing a fit and you sit down calmly and wait a moment, you may just get his attention. (And let’s face it, that’s what he’s looking for right now.) If you follow that moment with a calm explanation or consequence, a hug, a prayer, it has a different context. He still won’t like the verdict or enjoy the consequence, but maybe he’ll see that it’s wrapped in love. And you’ll be modeling for him the kind of behavior you hope he’ll adopt.

And last, don’t waste time in Guiltland. If you’ve lost it, confess it to the Father, ask for His forgiveness, and let Him apply it to your heart and life. I remember saying to my son, “I’m sorry. What you did was wrong, but Mommy should not have yelled at you like that.” To this day, my oldest (now a pastor) says that made a big impression on him; it reinforced for him how we all need Jesus.

If today’s topic hit home for you, you won’t want to miss the following announcement about our brand new Facebook group:

No. More. Angry MOB

submit to the Cross of Christ, not your emotions (a private FB group for Christian women prayerfully overcoming anger and yelling. A ministry of the MOB Society).

The goal of No More Angry MOB, a private Facebook group and ministry of the MOB Society, is to provide support, love, and help getting each other to Jesus when our emotions threaten to take over. Together, we’ll submit to the cross of Christ instead of allowing our emotions to tell us what to do.

MOB Society team writers, Amber Lia and Alaina Frederick will be group Administrators, and each week they’ll provide you with the following schedule of events:

Weekly Schedule

Mondays:

We’ll start your week off with hope, providing a Bible verse to keep our eyes on Jesus. Feel free to memorize the verse, write it on a sticky note, hang it on your bathroom mirror, or tattoo it on your arm

Tuesdays:

We’ll post a discussion question, designed to help keep us focused on our goal of overcoming in Jesus’ Name.

Wednesday:

FUN DAY! Sometimes, we just need a reboot in the middle of the week, right? Something to make us laugh and remember why we love being moms in the first place. Prepare to be in stitches!

Thursday:

Prayer day! Each Thursday we’ll cover each other in prayer. Feel free to leave a prayer request under the status update, but before you go, make sure to leave a written prayer for the person above you.

We hope you’ll join us in our new group designed just for you! Just follow this link to Facebook and request to join. Simple as that! Tell all your friends who struggle in this same area, and together, we’ll find victory in Jesus’ Name.

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