What to do when you blow up at your kids

Brody Praying

That’s my little boy, with a Spiderman tattoo on his cheek and a princess ring on his finger. He has the softest skin and the most tender heart, and I would fight FOR this child in the face of danger–against a lion, against ISIS, against bullies, against the evil one himself!

And yet… sometimes I am the one he needs protection from. Me. His mother.

I can be dangerous when my tongue is unbridled, when my body is tired and my thoughts are selfish, and I forget to be on guard. I can be the danger lurking in our home, ready to attack.

(hot tears)

There are so many directions I could take this short post.  Talk about how God is the preeminent example of gentleness as a parent; focus on the fruit of His very Spirit in our lives as we learn to abide in Him and bear His patient fruit; give you my testimony, how God has taken this overwhelmed woman and is transforming her slowly and steadily as this child’s mom; offer practical advice about how to stay calm in the midst of exhaustion and weariness; confess the triggers that still cause me to explode in a fresh mess all over my children sometimes… Wouldn’t those all be great?

Instead, however, let’s talk about what to do when we’ve failed. Because we do. Fail. Here’s what to do when you blow up at your kids:  Of course, we must apologize to our little loves, their father, and anyone else that’s been wounded by our words, our haughty eyes, our exasperated sighs and slamming cabinet doors. But then we’ve got come to God in humility and let Him do a serious work on our sin-stained heart.

What to do when you blow up at your kids via The MOB Society

Five things you can do when you’ve found yourself sinning against your loved ones again.  

1) Recognize“Search me, Oh God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.” (Psalm 139:23-24) Ask God to shine the spotlight of His Holy convicting love into the dark corners of your mothering heart.  He will be faithful to reveal the root causes of those sinful tendencies.

2) Repent“…the kindness of God leads you to repentance” (Romans 2:4) It is easier to focus on the ugliness bound up the hearts of our children than be bound and determined to consider our own sin-tendencies. But a kind God wouldn’t leave us shackled. He shows us our sin that we might receive His forgiveness, then learn to actively turn from those hurtful ways. Repent literally means, “turn around and go the other way,” and that’s what this step is all about. If you have been convicted of your own wrong behavior as a mom. Repent. Stop, turn around, and ask the Lord to lead you in the right direction.

3) Replace“Put on your new nature, created to be like God–truly righteous and holy.” (Ephesians 4:24) When God convicts a mother’s heart that something’s got to give, something’s got to change, some evil root is needing to be pulled completely out of the soil of her heart, He will partner with you in the replanting.  He tells us over and over again in scripture to take off our old nature, and put on righteousness. Let Him pull out your sin by the roots, and trust Him to plant something beautiful in it’s stead.

4) Rally – “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,” (Hebrews 10:24) Surround yourself with peace-loving women. Emulate their gentle, Christ-like spirits, and learn from them. If you are looking for a community of women who are actively, daily encouraging one another in the transformation process, from angry women to gentle moms, then look into our private facebook page – No More Angry MOBS.  Miracles are happening as we learn to Recognize, Repent, Replace, and Rally together.  You are welcome in our midst.

5) Rejoice –For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6) Lastly, rejoice. Today, right now, humble yourself like a child, like my son there in the picture, and cry out, “Holy God, thank You for continuing to transform me into the image of your Son. I praise You because You aren’t finished with me yet!  I praise You because You faithfully teach moms to stand firm in righteousness, even when it’s hard. And when we have done everything in our ability to stand… you help us to keep standing!  Thank you, Lord!  -Amen.”

Keeping Your Cool When Your Kids Compete

Often unexpectedly, and sometimes even…publicly, it happens.

You may have never considered yourself to be a competitive person. Maybe you grew up indifferent to sports, or even if you were competitive, you would have never guessed that your son’s little league game could bring out something so strong and emotional and crazy inside of you. You might be angry at the coach, mad at the referee, or disappointed in your own child. A sporting event that began as fun and games can turn you into a raging, overly-excited, bordering on lunacy,  soccer mom in a matter of seconds.

And in that moment the little part of you that is still sane and sensible is saying to the crazy-rest-of-you: What has happened to YOU!?

Kids sports can really bring it out in us.

Keeping Your Cool When Your Kids Compete via The MOB Society

Our kids are our treasures. We love them more than we love ourselves, and we want the very best for them. We want them to be wise and strong and to do great things in this world. Wrapped up in that whole package of wanting good things for our kids is the truth that whether we say it out loud or not, most of us want our kids to excel, to be the best and yes, even to win.

We want them to get the blue ribbon (and let’s be honest–not the one for participation) and we want them to excel in all that they do. In the heat of a game or match or contest, our emotions can quickly rise.

This phenomenon is only compounded when dealing with team sports and coaches or parents with different philosophies from your own. A casual walk up to the sidelines at a sporting event and you might just feel the friction in the air…

Though I don’t have an easy answer for any of this, what I will share is a couple basic principles that help me keep my cool in the midst of youth sports madness:

1. My children’s value will never be found in any sport or activity they do. Searching for significance in anything but a relationship with God will never satisfy. Keep perspective, parents!

2. Kids’ sports should be fun, educational, and social. Taking sports too seriously will rob our kids of valuable experiences on so many levels.

3. I can teach my child many character values through sports: Discipline, teamwork, commitment, and how to both win and lose with grace. Parents, let’s teach and model these things.

4. My reaction to different parenting or coaching philosophies is important. I can model humility and grace in the way I speak of and react to others.

5. Keep in mind that though my child may never compete as a professional athlete, he may indeed have a serious future in sports. My support and encouragement may make all of the difference in his future.

6. My greatest role is to support my kids, and let them learn and grow naturally from their sports experiences.

A verse to remember:   1 Timothy 4:8: “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.”

Share in comments if you have surprised yourself with a bit emotion as it relates to your kids and competition.  

Parenting Playbook: Tip 13

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The Parenting Playbook for Christian Moms of Boys is filled with practical, spiritual, and hysterical wisdom from your favorite moms of boys! Get your copy absolutely free by entering your email address below! When you do, you’ll also receive a free top-secret bonus, just because we love you!

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Parenting Playbook: Tip 12

The Parenting Playbook — A FREE eBook from The MOB Society

The Parenting Playbook for Christian Moms of Boys is filled with practical, spiritual, and hysterical wisdom from your favorite moms of boys! Get your copy absolutely free by entering your email address below! When you do, you’ll also receive a free top-secret bonus, just because we love you!

Your free eBook is on it's way! If it doesn't show up in the next 10 minutes or so, check your spam folder!

Parenting Playbook: Tip 11

The Parenting Playbook — A FREE eBook from The MOB Society

The Parenting Playbook for Christian Moms of Boys is filled with practical, spiritual, and hysterical wisdom from your favorite moms of boys! Get your copy absolutely free by entering your email address below! When you do, you’ll also receive a free top-secret bonus, just because we love you!

Your free eBook is on it's way! If it doesn't show up in the next 10 minutes or so, check your spam folder!

Parenting Playbook: Tip 10

The Parenting Playbook — A FREE eBook from The MOB Society

The Parenting Playbook for Christian Moms of Boys is filled with practical, spiritual, and hysterical wisdom from your favorite moms of boys! Get your copy absolutely free by entering your email address below! When you do, you’ll also receive a free top-secret bonus, just because we love you!

Your free eBook is on it's way! If it doesn't show up in the next 10 minutes or so, check your spam folder!

The Parenting Playbook via The MOB Society

Get Practical, Spiritual, and Hysterical Wisdom from Your Favorite Moms of Boys!

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