The Rumpus is a Gift {& giveaways!}

By on February 8, 2012 in "those" boys, Gentle Parenting, giveaway, physicality of boys

 {This just in! You can now get your copy of From Mom’s Failure to God’s Grace: Stories of Raising Boys from the MOB Society Writers as a PDF download! Just click the “buy now” button below. Don’t like PDFs? You can always get your copy on Amazon.}

Buy Now

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It happens every night – The Rumpus.

 

The before bed-time surge of energy that sends little boys running, chasing, screaming, jumping, squealing, and laughing.

 

And it’s the perfect storm of annoyance for this tired, sound-sensitive mama.

 

I’ve spent years being frustrated and angry during the last hour of my children’s day.  I’ve been impatient, fussy, prone to exasperation, and generally lacking in grace.

 

But God has been transforming me.  Transforming my heart, and my priorities, and my present so that one day in the future I don’t regret my past.

 

God has helped me to embrace mutual respect and grace.  Has helped me to focus on what matters and what doesn’t.  Has helped me to appreciate that the sand in the hour-glass is falling, with or without my approval.

 

What a silly, fleshly thing to be angered by happiness, and joy, and laughter – simply because it’s loud and I’m tired.

 

I need to relish the laughter, to drink it in,  to remember it for always and thank God for every timbre of it.

 

So, when chasing and squealing, and door slamming, and raucous laughter ensue long after the sun has gone down and I desperately want little people to, also – I try to remember to close my eyes, to breathe, and to remember that this moment in time is a gift.

 

The laughter is a gift.  The time is a gift.  The rumpus is a gift.

 

Even the crying, and the sighing, and the frustration is a gift because it stretches me past my selfishness and creates in me a more grace-filled, empathetic mother, follower, and worshiper.

 

I don’t know who I would be today without the sanctification that comes through parenthood.

 

-Jessica Bowman

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To continue our re-launch festivities, we have another giveaway just for you!

Today, you can win one of two copies of an awesome ebook from a beautiful boy mom!

Hayley, blogger at The Tiny Twig, has written The No Brainer Wardrobe: Get Dressed With More Confidence and Less Fuss, an ebook that all women, and especially busy boy moms, NEED to have! I {Erin} absolutely love the book and I know you will too!

To enter, just leave a comment here today! Easy peasy, right?!

This giveaway will close at 10 p.m. EST TONIGHT so don’t miss out!

Two winners will be chosen at random and notified by email!

Thank you so much to Hayley for donating these copies to help us celebrate!

The Definition of “Headlong”: Observations from The Changing Table

By on January 27, 2012 in a little fun, a mother's heart, adventure, Boys in Motion, physicality of boys

Until recently, I’ve been all-girl. Though I married a boy, he’s still a wonderful mystery to me. I grew up with three sisters. For the past six years, I’ve been having tea parties with our 2 daughters. So, I consider myself a novice when it comes to boys. Last July, our son was born. Overnight, I became an avid MOB reader. As a new MOB writer, I offer my nostaglic observations from the beginning of “It’s a Boy!”

Here’s what I notice so far: the boy thinks he is only his eyes.

As soon as Malachi could prop himself up on his Leapfrog Garden, he demonstrated that if he saw something with his eyes, he’d go for it. It doesn’t matter that he has an entire body to account for. It doesn’t matter that he has an adorable head to bonk or a precious nose to smoosh! If he sees something interesting, he flings himself into it (and eats it). The girls never ever ever moved like that boy moved the first time he wanted to eat a plastic frog. If the girls saw something that they wanted, they paused, moved one foot and then another, reached one hand out to touch the object, and then – if the coast was clear – would proceed to explore the item. Not the boy. He saw; he lunged; he ate. I hadn’t thought about the word headlong since a sixth grade vocabulary quiz; now it comes to mind every day. 

I can see how this is a huge advantage in life – talk about courage! I can also see how this requires many trips to the emergency room.

So, Momma, do you see headlong in your home? Have mercy on this newbie and flood the comment section with lots of advantages to this (wince) amazing ability…

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Mom, You Are Enough. Just The Way You Are.

By on January 25, 2012 in a mother's heart, connection with boys, physicality of boys

I don’t know about you, but one of the things I find most charming about little boys is their sometimes over abundant energy!

My little man is always out to conquer the world.

Even if some days, that just means a very large armchair.  Or snow pile.  Or sneaking under mom’s bed when she isn’t looking and grabbing her feet for sheer comedic effect.

Whatever it may be, his zest and zeal for life are the most genuine I’ve ever seen.  It’s a big, big world, baby.  He’s raring and ready to go as far as the biggest adventure will take him.

And when he jumps from the top step, or he winds up with a running start, I want my arms wide open to catch him …

instead of holding my breath and wincing;

bracing myself, and bemoaning the impending impact.

*

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You see, my body isn’t made for rough and rowdy.  My body is tender, sensitive, weak.  I’m learning, day by day, to live in it.

And so, I feel that this wild wonder of a boy,

has gotten the short end of the stick in the mother department.

He needs a mom who can roll and wrangle and toss him up and chase him down.

He deserves a mom who can keep up.

I am not enough for him.

But,

has God not given him to me?

While I hope to fill those needs the best that I can, perhaps he also needs a mom who can teach him gentleness and consideration.  Perhaps he needs a mom to cultivate a sensitivity to the needs of others…to foster a heart for those who can’t keep up.

*

If we know that God doesn’t make mistakes, then we also know that our boys are ours by design.  Your struggle to relate to your son in some way is for the good of you both; for your sanctification and his betterment.

Mom, you are enough.  Just the way you are.

iPhone photos...the only way to keep this little tornado still, if only for a moment

16 Comments

Why Won’t They Lead?

By on August 26, 2011 in growing godly men, leadership, physicality of boys

“Every man feels that the world is asking him to be something he doubts very much he has it in him to be.” ~John Eldredge, Wild at Heart

I hear so often people lamenting the fact that there aren’t many REAL men out there leading the way – in church, in families and so on. Is this discontent happening where you live as well?

And while it is good to ask questions, figure out root causes, and challenge men to step up where they are now, it is BETTER for us as moms of boys to take action NOW with the future men God has entrusted to us.

As I am re-reading Wild at Heart, there are SO many things jumping out to me as challenges directly to us as mothers to raise leaders starting at a very young age.

The first problem is with what our culture has been saying…

“The idea, widely held in our culture, is that the aggressive nature of boys is inherently bad, and we have to make them into something more like girls.”

I am a girl. The “aggressive nature” of my boys caught me completely off guard. And my natural inclination was to stifle that.

Bad idea…

#1 – It’s almost impossible to suppress.

#2 – That is not allowing them to be who God designed them to be.

#3 – In stifiling their aggressive nature, I would be taking away an essential asset for them as a leader.

When I say “aggressive,” please do not read “bully” or “dictator” or anything along those lines.

I know when the word “aggressive” is mentioned, Scriptures about turning the other cheek and peace and such will be brought up as a counter argument. I do NOT want to raise men who push people around. But I love what Eldredge has to say on this very point…

“Yes, Scripture teaches wise use of strength and the power of forgiveness. But you cannot teach a boy to use his strength by stripping him of it.”

This is where I needed a wake-up call. If we want to raise men who step up to all God has for them, men who accept challenges and fight battles, men who lead the way into new lands to conquer, men who STAND UP FOR JESUS, we cannot take away their God-given strength.

Which brings me to the next issue…

I say no too much – to running and jumping and play-fighting and the like.

I used to say it a lot more, but I am seeing the good that come out of situations that seem crazy and out-of-control to me. I let them wrestle it out and feel strong. I let them play-fight and they develop stories of good defeating evil. I don’t jump into an argument right away and I see character develop as one boy learns to listen or forgive or agree to disagree.

God’s designs are never flawed. He made our boys exactly who He wanted them to be so they would become exactly the men He designed them to be.

“But God’s design – which he placed in boys as the picture of himself – is a resounding yes. Be fierce, be wild, be passionate.”

And we are the ones to tell them YES to all that God made them to be, so that one day they WILL become the passionate leaders so many are looking for today.

Will you accept this challenge?

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**All quotes taken from Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. As a mom of boys, and probably a wife as well, this is a must read.**

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