The Definition of “Headlong”: Observations from The Changing Table

By on January 27, 2012 in a little fun, a mother's heart, adventure, Boys in Motion, physicality of boys

Until recently, I’ve been all-girl. Though I married a boy, he’s still a wonderful mystery to me. I grew up with three sisters. For the past six years, I’ve been having tea parties with our 2 daughters. So, I consider myself a novice when it comes to boys. Last July, our son was born. Overnight, I became an avid MOB reader. As a new MOB writer, I offer my nostaglic observations from the beginning of “It’s a Boy!”

Here’s what I notice so far: the boy thinks he is only his eyes.

As soon as Malachi could prop himself up on his Leapfrog Garden, he demonstrated that if he saw something with his eyes, he’d go for it. It doesn’t matter that he has an entire body to account for. It doesn’t matter that he has an adorable head to bonk or a precious nose to smoosh! If he sees something interesting, he flings himself into it (and eats it). The girls never ever ever moved like that boy moved the first time he wanted to eat a plastic frog. If the girls saw something that they wanted, they paused, moved one foot and then another, reached one hand out to touch the object, and then – if the coast was clear – would proceed to explore the item. Not the boy. He saw; he lunged; he ate. I hadn’t thought about the word headlong since a sixth grade vocabulary quiz; now it comes to mind every day. 

I can see how this is a huge advantage in life – talk about courage! I can also see how this requires many trips to the emergency room.

So, Momma, do you see headlong in your home? Have mercy on this newbie and flood the comment section with lots of advantages to this (wince) amazing ability…

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Mom, You Are Enough. Just The Way You Are.

By on January 25, 2012 in a mother's heart, connection with boys, physicality of boys

I don’t know about you, but one of the things I find most charming about little boys is their sometimes over abundant energy!

My little man is always out to conquer the world.

Even if some days, that just means a very large armchair.  Or snow pile.  Or sneaking under mom’s bed when she isn’t looking and grabbing her feet for sheer comedic effect.

Whatever it may be, his zest and zeal for life are the most genuine I’ve ever seen.  It’s a big, big world, baby.  He’s raring and ready to go as far as the biggest adventure will take him.

And when he jumps from the top step, or he winds up with a running start, I want my arms wide open to catch him …

instead of holding my breath and wincing;

bracing myself, and bemoaning the impending impact.

*

*

You see, my body isn’t made for rough and rowdy.  My body is tender, sensitive, weak.  I’m learning, day by day, to live in it.

And so, I feel that this wild wonder of a boy,

has gotten the short end of the stick in the mother department.

He needs a mom who can roll and wrangle and toss him up and chase him down.

He deserves a mom who can keep up.

I am not enough for him.

But,

has God not given him to me?

While I hope to fill those needs the best that I can, perhaps he also needs a mom who can teach him gentleness and consideration.  Perhaps he needs a mom to cultivate a sensitivity to the needs of others…to foster a heart for those who can’t keep up.

*

If we know that God doesn’t make mistakes, then we also know that our boys are ours by design.  Your struggle to relate to your son in some way is for the good of you both; for your sanctification and his betterment.

Mom, you are enough.  Just the way you are.

iPhone photos...the only way to keep this little tornado still, if only for a moment

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shoving skeletons

By on January 21, 2012 in a mother's heart

{I’m THRILLED to introduce you to today’s guest poster, Momma Kristi! Kristi is the mom of three little boys and the creator of an amazing new site called Must Love God. I highly recommend that you run over to the MLG community and take a look around…after you read this post that is…Everyone welcome Kristi!}

I was a strong independent woman at one time.  I graduated from college with a doctorate degree, had a good job, and was even building a house.  I thought all my skeletons of fear and anxiety were shoved nicely in the closet.Skip ahead a few years- a wonderful husband and expecting our first child.  Those skeletons slowly crept back out, slivering, sneaking their way back into my life.

“What if something happens to the baby?”
“What if I’m not a good mother?”
“What will labor be like?”
“Baby, I’m scared!!!”

My husband Jason learned quickly how to respond and you say, “what are you afraid of?”  “I don’t know,” I’d respond, “the unkown?”

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid” he’d always quote Joshua back to me.  Even in labor, he whispered those words in my ears.

The story fast forwards again three years- three beautiful rambunctious boys (born over a three year time period).  Slowly I try to shut those skeletons back in the closet, for good this time, not to ever come back.  I love my life, my family, and my God.  There is nothing to fear.

“I’m scared,” says my oldest.  My response, “be strong and courageous”.  We even practiced making brave faces and showing our muscles on the way to preschool.

“I’m afraid,” whines my middle boy, just the other day even.  “Be strong and courageous.” We start this process again.

Now my baby, he seems to be afraid of nothing right now, but if he ever utters those words….”be strong and courageous” will be my response.

I often wondered how my past skeletons would affect those future babies.  And as I currently get a stronger handle on my own fears and anxieties, I want to teach my boys too, how to lay those concerns at Jesus’ feet.  I’m realizing the closet is no place to shove those skeletons, as they only creep back out over time.

I see that the only way I can instill confidence and wellness in my own sons’ is to be confident and well myself.  I’ve come face to face with the woman in the mirror.  I’ve vowed to get well, to change my lifestyle, to be healthy and confident.  Those are the traits I want my boys to learn from me.

How do you show confidence in front of your boys? Has your lack of it has affected them?
Must Love GodKristi is a Jesus-girl, wife to her best friend, and mom to three amazing little boys. She works full time as a pharmacist in a local hospital on the weekends and is a stay at home mom during the week. Kristi lives in suburbia but dreams of moving with her husband and boys to the country. She blogs at MommaKristi where she shares her faith filled journey through motherhood. Kristi also contributes at Sisters in Bloom and is a OneVerse Blogger. She is the founder/creator of Must Love God which fills her passion for helping women focus on wellness and wholeness.

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I’ve forgotten my babies.

By on December 13, 2011 in a mother's heart, connection with boys, Gentle Parenting, Life Lessons, reflection

{We invite you to grab a FREE PDF download of our newest eBook, Hope for the Weary Mom. To get your copy, subscribe to the MOB Society by email, look for a verification email in your inbox, and click the link to your download at the end.}

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I have a really bad memory. Just ask my husband. Or, I don’t know, maybe it’s perfectly average. I mean, most people don’t remember every moment of their lives, right? Every joke, every cool breeze, every good book.

 

I forget these kind of things almost instantaneously.

 

And normally it doesn’t bother me that much. But once in awhile, I’ll be going through old pictures, and I’ll find a picture of my seven-year-old as a one-year-old – and I find myself thinking, “I don’t remember this child”. I remember this picture, I might remember this day, but I don’t remember this child.

 

 

Everyone tells you to treasure the time with your children because it’s over in a heartbeat.

 

 

I’ve not been treasuring. I’ve not been intentionally treasuring this era of my life. I’ve been tired, and unfocused, and selfish, and just waiting for freaking little person bedtime so I could watch Friends, or something equally dumb.

 

 

And now I realize that I’ve lost them. I’ve lost my babies, they’re gone. My youngest is three.

 

 

Once when I was about eight years old my family moved to Florida for just one year. One day, when it was raining, my step-dad and I stood in the mouth of our open garage. And he told me to remember that moment. To concentrate on the water rushing down the paved hill of our street; the way it sounded, the way it smelled, the way it looked.

 

And I did. To this day I can transport myself pack to those minutes of my life and appreciate them.

 

What I’ve realized as life has gone on is that we have to be intentional to remember the good in our life. The hurt, and the pain, and the unfortunate seers itself onto our hearts and into our minds almost against our will. We can be weighed down with these unwanted memories for a lifetime. But the good? We forget it so quickly.

 

So I’m determined to remember my babies. The smiles, and the jokes, and the round cheeks, and the lisps, and the laughs that far outweigh the poop and the tears and the gray hairs. Because I’m a little bit terrified of forgetting them. And waking up sometime very soon to an empty house, with my cup overflowing with regrets.

 

Let’s burn today into our memories. Because really, y’all – it won’t last forever.

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The winners of the Hope for the Weary Mom giveawaysfrom the MOB Society are:

Hope Bag from Dayspring – Suzy

Hope piece from Red Letter Art – Laura

David Nevue CD – Mom of Four

Ladies: Please check your email and get back to us ASAP! Congratulations!

 

 

 

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