THIS ARTICLE IS A READER FAVORITE AND WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN November 2011.
I have a five-year-old son. I want to give him the fullest life possible. But there is a huge piece that is missing from his life…
He needs a man in his life. Someone to wrestle and sword fight with, that gets excited about Star Wars and superheroes. Someone that will be able to teach him to shave and give him advice. God has and will equip me to give my son a full life. I can sword fight. I can read the Bible and advise my son with wisdom and truth. But let’s be honest—it would be a lot easier with help!
Asking God For Help
The beautiful thing is, God has given me help. He has placed godly men in our lives to fill in the gap left by an absent father. God has generously filled William’s life with a grandfather and uncle that take seriously the call to lead and care for their family. They see it as their responsibility to be father figures to William. Two nights of every week, these godly men read the Bible, pray, and invest in William. As the years pass, they will have invested in him in a way that gives them credibility to speak to the deeper issues of William’s heart.
The blessings don’t end with the men in our family. There are also men in our church who have ministered to William. They have come to the house to do maintenance work, teaching William how to “help” with a screwdriver and drill. They have taught him how to play soccer, volunteering to coach his team when the team had no coach. They have hugged him, wrestled with him, and treated him as a part of their family. William loves them—and feels loved by them.
We are blessed. God has used these men to meet a huge need in our lives. William’s daddy may be gone, but he still has godly men investing in his life. They are showing him Jesus!
Many of you face the same challenges in raising your sons. Daddy is absent and a little help from a godly man would be nice! For those looking for godly role models for your boys, consider the following:
The Lord is attentive—He sees, cares, and responds to the needs of His children. Ask for what you need, trusting that He will meet your needs.
2. Look to your family.
The Bible shows us that the responsibility first falls to the family to meet your need. Ask the men in your family to help. Can they spend 2-3 hours a week with your son? Can they come to his games? Can they include him in work projects or fishing trips? Can they call him during the week to check on him?
3. Look to the church.
This requires two things: First, you have to be involved in a church body! Second, you have to ask. Start with the men in your small group/Sunday School class and men who teach your son in their classes. Are there men in those groups who love Jesus and are willing to invest in your son? If you don’t know any of the men in your church well enough, ask your pastors for help. Until you are comfortable, make sure all the time your son spends with another man is monitored by you.
4. Look to the fathers of your child’s friends.
Would they be willing to include your son in some of their activities? Often, dads are willing to add another boy to the mix—especially if they know there is a need.
5. Look to the community.
Enroll your son in sports, boys scouts, music lessons, etc. These activities are often led by men. Maybe the Lord will place your son in a group led by a godly man who can build a relationship with him.
All of these steps require faith that God will protect and provide. Be wise in who you allow to spend time with your son. (Do your homework! Check references!) Humble yourself and ask for help. Understand that some will say no—not because they don’t care for you, but because they don’t understand or are not equipped. Don’t give up. It may take time, but God is faithful.
What are some of the ways you’ve found role models for your boys when dad isn’t or can’t be around to help?
Charity Keldie is a child of God and mother to two precious children – one boy, one girl. She is a widow, clinging to Jesus as she tries to figure this whole “single mom” thing out. I have seen great joy and great sorrow and found that through it all, God is good and worthy of praise. I will spend my life chasing Christ and pointing my children to Him, trusting in His faithfulness to restore all that sin has broken.