I’m a fan of the wee hours of the morning. The quiet before the storm, you might say. The moments I can sit in a big leather chair, sip warm hazelnut creamer with coffee (you read that right), and pray/read/reflect before 4 souls dressed in little boy bodies come bounding down the stairs.
On this particular morning, a bleary-eyed state + a dark hallway, led to my bare foot landing on a wet pile of cat vomit.
As I hobbled back into the bedroom and put my foot in the sink to rinse off the yuck, I realized how this moment reflected what God has been doing to my heart that week.
You see, I am a follower of Christ. I have surrendered my life to God. He has filled me with His Holy Spirit. He is the King of my life and I am free from the kingdom of sin.
There is this pesky thing called “the flesh” which keeps sticking around. I’m no longer bound to do whatever my selfish desire wants. I get to choose. And God gave me His power to help me choose His way.
When a two year old decides to dump out the entire mega box of goldfish on the kitchen floor or the 4 year old and 6 year old begin to bicker (again!) or the 8 year old is complaining about how the couch fabric makes him sweat, those are the times “my flesh” takes over. And I lose it.
The ugly, “cat vomit”-like reaction takes over me and responding in love and grace is not even in my vocabulary.
In His gracious, loving way, God reminds me that my mess is not beyond His ability to clean.
Just like how the cat vomit slid off my foot under running water (you’re welcome for that visual image). He makes my yucky heart clean and gives me a “do-over”.
Given my tendency to forget, I scribbled these words on a notecard to memorize over the Summer:
“I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean;
I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols.
I will give you a new heart & put a new spirit in you;
I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
And I will put my spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.”
If you are the mom who is starting off summer feeling pretty yucky and messy, then come to Jesus. Offer Him your heart of stone and allow Him to soften your heart towards your children.
Ask Him to give you eyes to see how temporary messes of little boys are in light of eternity. To consider if your expectations may be too high for your boys to behave. If when you question “why” they are doing the same bad choice (again!), to then think about why you are having the same bad response (again!).
Oh fellow mamas, raising men is a high calling. A responsibility that starts with getting our hearts right with God.
Will you join me in turning on the faucet and rinsing off the yuck?
Lord, Thank you for kindness that leads to repentance. That at any point in my week, day, hour, I can come to You with my mess and you cleanse me. Thank you that with Christ’s death all my sin was paid for once and for all and has no hold on me. May I walk in freedom through Your Holy Spirit. Loving well from a pure heart. In Your Precious Name, Amen.