About a year ago, my son came running into the room, screaming, “Quick Mom! I need a Bible! I feel sin in my heart and I need to fight it!” He had learned about the temptation of Jesus in church that week and the Holy Spirit was working in his little heart and mind – helping him to realize his sinfulness and the need to fight it. He hadn’t learned to read yet, but he knew that the Bible was what he needed to fight sin.
Now, a year has passed and I had forgotten about this precious moment. My son had been getting into trouble at preschool for not listening to the teacher and distracting his friends. For several weeks, notes were coming home in his folder telling me that he was struggling to obey the rules. So, we talked about his behavior. We prayed. We practiced the right way to behave. And as the notes kept coming, my patience grew smaller. Instead of looking at the heart issue of what was going on, I began to focus on simply changing his behavior. So I took away his legos. And the Wii. And I began to speak harshly. My desire for him to be liked by his teacher and be the “good kid” in school overshadowed my desire to engage his heart with the gospel.
Would you like to guess what his lesson was about at church this week? The temptation of Jesus. Once again, he and I were both reminded of how Jesus was able to withstand the temptation of Satan without sinning. Jesus used the Scriptures! More than my son needed to hear this story again, I needed to hear this story again. So, today we got out the Bible and found verses for us to memorize that will hopefully help him to remember Jesus. He will go to preschool tomorrow. Maybe he will do a better job of following the rules. Maybe he won’t. But I can guarantee this: tomorrow, we will both work to hide God’s word in our hearts so that we might not sin against Him. My son will try to not sin against his teacher and his classmates. And I will try not to sin against my son by focusing on behavior modification instead of his heart.
Q. What are some ways you’ve found to focus on your boy’s heart recently?
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Don’t forget to join Brooke McGlothlin (MOB Society) and Stacey Thacker (MOD Squad) in tonight’s Weary Mom Kitchen Table Talk on Spreecast! We’re starting a 9 PM EST and will talk about your prayer life, and your “one” thing.
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This post could not have come at a better time! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! As you probably guessed I have a similar situation.
So many times it is SIN that keeps us from doing as we should. Even as adults we forget that the enemy will tempt us and we must always be on guard with the full armor of God! Thank you!!
Piper´s last [type] ..Friday Flashback!!
I too have been struggling with my 4yr old son’s behavior. But the following line was so convicting! “And I will try not to sin against my son by focusing on behavior modification instead of his heart.”
Thank you for putting it in the proper perspective! It is so easy to get sidetracked from what we really should be focusing on.
This is right on and something I struggle with immensely. Thank you for bring that truth to the surface for me once again to contemplate and ask Him for more grace, wisdom, and help.
Dacia´s last [type] ..Can we hear directly from God
Thank you for this post. It is so easy to focus on the behavior rather than the heart issue. If you don’t mind…would you share references for a few of the scriptures you and your son have found most helpful in this situation?
Here are the 12 verses that my son and I will be working on memorizing over the next year to help us fight temptation: Romans 12:21, 1 Peter 2:24, Genesis 4:7, Philippians 4:13, Psalm 86:7 & 11, Galatians 5:22-23, 2 Timothy 1:7, 1 Peter 5:8-9, James 4:7-8 &17, Romans 5:8, Proverbs 1:10.
Another great resource for teaching children Scripture that I love is Desiring God’s Foundation Verses for kids. They are a part of their Fighter Verse program. There is even an app that you can get for your phone that has all of the foundation verses with pictures to help you and your child memorize Scripture.
Hope this helps!
Charity Keldie´s last [type] ..Saying Goodbye
We have a “fiesty” little guy who came out of the womb knowing how to push buttons, all in his favor, of course
I’ve been using Stormie Omartian’s book, “Power of a Praying Parent” as my prayer guide over the kids when I check on them before my bedtime. I pray over them and read the relevant Scriptures. The results for our challenging boy have been amazing. I, too, felt like I was always pointing out his flaws, even in trying to help him overcome them. But the Word is the source of transformation, not reminders of our faults (the law is described as the ministry of death by Paul! I don’t want to teach my kids to focus on death, but victorious life in Jesus!) The kids also write in prayer journals twice a month, one page with their “thank yous” and one page with “God, please help with…” And they get a memory verse, too. We’re using those tools to build a foundation in their lives (they’re 6 years old) that will allow them, like Jesus, to go into their daily battles with a sharpened weapon at their side.
I love your prayer journal idea! Thanks so much for sharing!
So true! I run into this all of the time with our children! I’m trying very hard to remember to open the Bible FIRST, and not as a last resort! Thanks for the reminder!
Thank you. I so needed this this morning. I am struggling with our oldest (of 3 boys) so much lately. I am worn down, weary, and feeling hopeless. Of course it is hopeless when I am using my own strength in these times! Thank you so much for the reminder that we cannnot do this on our own (mother or son!).
I just had to share how you impacted my day
http://sammyandtam.blogspot.com/2012/02/field-trip-lanier-theological-library.html
Thanks Tammy! That looks like a fabulous day!
So powerful, thank you for a great reminder! I have totally gotten caught up the last few months in targeting the behaviors and not the heart behind them. I’ve been praying much more over my son around his behavior struggles at school and at home and even had some good conversations about what God asks of us and why, but haven’t taken him to the Word to show him where that comes from and where he can find it when he needs it.
Cari´s last [type] ..Like an Elephant