Beer and cigarettes.
You heard me.
The phone call went something like this:
“Honey, come home now. The two-year-old is screaming because he wants to sit on my lap while I’m nursing the baby. The baby is crying because the two-year-old keeps trying to sit on his head. When the two-year-old tries to sit on the baby’s head he can’t nurse. Now he won’t nurse at all and is screaming his head off. The bulldog has started crying because he wants to be fed (doesn’t everybody!!) and I’m going to explode within the next 10 minutes if you don’t COME HOME AND BRING ME BEER AND CIGARETTES RIGHT NOW!”
- photo credit: fotografstockholm
My precious boys were born just 23 months apart. And during that first year of my little guy’s life there were many (MANY) nights I didn’t think we were going to make it. Both of our boys are “those boys.” You know, the ones who are extremely high energy, get into everything, don’t take no for an answer, would rather wrestle than breathe, only have one volume (LOUD), and generally leave my husband and I completely breathless at the end of the day. Even as little guys, they fought a lot. And my inner voice, the one that likes to show me all my ugly, had a field day telling me I would never measure up as a mom.
Sound familiar?
The night I called my husband asking for beer and cigarettes I was in a state of panic. I’m not a beer drinker, and I only smoked a few times in college (sorry mom and dad). But as I sat on my front stoop in tears, cell phone in hand, toddler in the pack-n-play and baby in the swing (and stinking Bulldog tied to the chair!), something in me snapped. After months of trying so hard to put on a brave and sure face to my friends and family, I broke down and admitted that there was no way I could raise these boys by myself.
Now maybe you’re stronger than me. Maybe you’re one of those moms who has it all together. Your children jump to attention at your every command, are polite to strangers, and dance a jig while they do their chores. Maybe you don’t have to scare the neighbors by yelling, “HELP ME JESUS!!!” at the top of your lungs multiple times a day.
But I do.
Four years later life is still hard. I don’t have anyone tugging on me to nurse or trying to sit on a sibling’s head anymore, but I still have incredibly active, highly distractible, in your face little boys. Sometimes I’m tempted to think that I’m all alone in my walk. Those days threaten to overwhelm me, and my complete inability to change their hearts of stone to hearts of flesh makes my weakness blaze until it’s all I can see.
But I’m not alone.
It was over a phone call with a friend that I finally decided my life was pretty normal. We’d been chatting about church this and that for just a few seconds when she interrupted the conversation to tell the little voice in her home to stop what he was doing. When that same little voice turned a bit nasty and screamed, “NO I WON’T!” to his mama on the phone, I knew I’d met a kindred spirit…or at least another human being who knew what I was going through.
We moms, we think we’re all alone, don’t we? We think that our problems are worse than everyone else’s. We think our children’s sinful hearts are more sinful than everyone else’s. We think our weak spots have to be hidden, and can’t imagine telling the truth about what’s happening in our homes. We wear the burden of it all like a straight jacket…bound up by shame and incapable of getting loose by ourselves.
But Jesus has the key.
It’s called embracing your weakness.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” ~2 Corinthians 12:9-10 {ESV}
Do you hear the small voice whispering? It’s struggling hard to be heard over the condemning voices in your head, but it wants you to hear the truth and embrace it. It’s saying, “It’s OK to be weak. It’s OK to not know what to do or how to do it. It’s OK that you don’t have the answers, I do.”
The voice gets a little louder now…
“It’s OK to feel lost. It’s OK to need help. It’s OK that you’re not perfect, I was!”
It’s shouting at you now!
“It’s OK to fail! It’s OK to get things wrong! IT’S OK TO BE WEAK, because in your weakness I AM strong.“
“It’s OK to be weak, because in your weakness I AM strong.”
“Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
Boast.
Boast in the fact that you’re not good enough, not strong enough, not smart enough, NOT ENOUGH to be a good mom. And watch what God does. When I finally did it, when my business partner, Erin, did it, God created the MOB Society. A safe place for mothers of boys to come find out that they’re not so different after all. Their boys aren’t so crazy after all. And they’re not alone in their struggles after all.
Boast. Be honest about where you are, who you are, and who you’re not. Wiggle out of that straight jacket as Jesus turns the key with HIS mighty right hand and let Him be strong for you.
He’s waiting to make His strength perfect in your weakness friends. Boast in your weakness, and then, then be truly strong.
Join us again next Saturday as Stacey, from the MOD Squad, shares the next post in Hope for the Weary Mom. You can follow all of the posts by checking out the Weary Mom landing page.
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“Hello, my name is Stacey and I am a weak mama who sometimes hides in my bedroom and eats large amounts of M&M’s. ”
Thank you sweet Brooke for the freedom in the post. I do not have to be who I am not. I do not have to feel alone. I do not HAVE TO have it all together. He is strong. I am not. And when I stand up and say that, Hope rushes in. He says, “I was waiting for you to call me.”
Giving Him all that I am (not) in exchange for ALL that He is…now that is a great exchange!
love you friend.
xoxoxo
Stacey´s last [type] ..The Word of God and the Heroes Who Shaped America {Giveaway}
How do you keep such a small waist?!?!
That’s exactly what I’m praying for Stacey, that God would free up moms to depend on Him. And the only way we can truly depend on Him is if we admit our mess. He’ll get in it with us.
Maybe I need to schedule a phone call with you so I can hear that my reality is normal, too….Although, I fear we wouldn’t get a word in between the two of us. I’d like to think this post was written just for me because I literally made that phone call to my husband this week and I asked for something stronger than beer. Thank you Brooke. I’m so tired of wearing the yoke that I feel others have placed on me to be something I’m not in motherhood. There IS freedom in this post.
Sara @ Happy Brown House´s last [type] ..Blame it on Frosty
Anytime sweet girl
I’m praying specifically for you, and all of the other moms out there feeling exactly like you, today. Love you!
Hi Brooke, This was my first time reading at the MOB Society..and hopefully it’s ok for me to comment here since I’m a MOD! (two girls), but I can empathize with your EVERY word here…believe it or not, I have two girls, 20 months apart, who leave me breathless at the end of the day…they tap me more emotionally than physically…the each have VERY vibrant personalities that often clash with each other, leaving them fighting and me weary…I have re-read that verse in Corinthians many a day…and was encouraged to read it here again…Glad to know that we’re not alone!
So glad you stopped in to say hi Lisa! Love your heart and wisdom!
Stacey´s last [type] ..More Hope for Your Weary Heart
So glad you stopped by today Lisa! I think it’s just hard when they’re so close together. Our boys are the best of friends, but they can be the worst of enemies too. Never a dull moment
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..beer and cigarettes {hope for the weary mom?}
Brooke – thank you for these timely words of wisdom. It’s not just MOB’s that experience this (my boys are much calmer than my girls), us MOD’s do too!! There are many days when I want to crawl into a hole and just hibernate for a day or two, if only to get away from the energy, drama, and noise! I’m glad to know there are other weary moms out there. When the voices in our heads tell us we’re not adequate and we’re not capable we can remember that in Christ we are! =)
My girls (like their mama) have never been called, “Quiet”
Stacey´s last [type] ..More Hope for Your Weary Heart
It’s the wild and wholly that gets to me after a while
Thanks Jen!
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..beer and cigarettes {hope for the weary mom?}
Brooke, you have no idea how much this hit home for me this week. I called the hubs on Wednesday telling him that I was gonna loose it! I felt like I might have an anxiety attack any moment. I couldn’t expand my chest wide enough to get all the air I felt I needed. The kids were being disobedient, no matter how I approached punishment. The newborn was sooooo stinkin fussy and wanted to eat all.the.time! Schoolwork? Fahgetaboutit! Dishes? That’s a laugh. Dinner? You know how to make a sandwich! Gah!!! I think I definitely earned worst mom of the week with my attitude come Thursday. I just had enough, couldn’t take it anymore. Then my hubby asked, have you prayed? Wow! Well, no, because that would have made sense. lol. I hadn’t prayed once about any of it. But once I did, I immediately felt the tension in my chest release, and I could breath! Were the kids perfect after that? No. But I was resting in God’s grace and peace. I was resting in His hope for this weary momma’s soul. Thanks for this post. I COMPLETELY understand!
Ashley Ann´s last [type] ..Six Things
Sometimes we lose it, don’t we friend? Sometimes I even forget about prayer…and when I remember, I think, “Good grief…why did I wait so long?!”
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..beer and cigarettes {hope for the weary mom?}
My ‘day’ arrived when we only had ONE child. (hello) Little things kept piling up and then as we sat down to eat…me, my husband and our 6 month-old son (who was sitting in his bouncy chair), I sat my plate down on our coffee table to join them.
It fell off the table onto the ground….food-first.
I calmly looked down, scooped up the food, and put it back on the table. It happened…again. (Not kidding.) And once more.
On the last time, my husband started to laugh (and stopped immediately) as he recognized the ‘look’ on my face as I calmly (again) picked up the plate, walked into the kitchen, and threw it ALL away…plate and all. I went back into the living room, sat down and finished my water, pretending to ignore the fact I just tossed one of our beautiful plates into the trash because…I had ‘had.enough’.
Which is why we now have (14 years later) 7-place settings instead of…8.
Susan Hill´s last [type] ..He sometimes blocks…to protect
Thanks for putting that little piece of humor in here Susan. It’s important for those of us with little ones to remember that one day we’ll look back and laugh at the things that seemed so insurmountable.
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..beer and cigarettes {hope for the weary mom?}
THIS is what it’s all about…getting real. Thank you Brooke!!
Three Boys. All two years apart.
Sometimes that one glass of wine with lunch isn’t the worst idea.
Jessica´s last [type] ..The times they are a changin’
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..beer and cigarettes {hope for the weary mom?}
Great post! I have 4 boys/2 girls … and 3 of my boys were born in 3 years all in a row – all 3 are “those boys.” They are a ton of fun, though, and when they came along (and as fast as they did) they added a WHOLE new dynamic to my idea of parenting. I’ve learned to relax A LOT out of sheer necessity. Thanks for your encouraging words!
Stephanie´s last [type] ..Where Do Mothers Come From?
They are a lot of fun, aren’t they? I really wouldn’t have it any other way. God knows what we need and what will reach our hearts for Him. He obviously knew that I need two rambunctious, rowdy boys!
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..beer and cigarettes {hope for the weary mom?}
What a beautiful, funny, honest blog! Been there, done that! Thank you for sharing your weakness – you are NOT alone, as you already know. But above all, your point is right on – through our weakness, He is made strong, as are we!
God bless!
Kelli´s last [type] ..A Leaky Lesson
Yes! Thanks Kelli! It’s so good to say it out loud so that we can truly know we’re not alone.
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..beer and cigarettes {hope for the weary mom?}
this makes me laugh … we are so not alone, I also have one of ‘those’ boys and I could hug him and shake him at the same time most days!! all the phone calls from teachers used to make me want to curl up and weep until I realised he was normal, a boy! now they don’t tend to make me get defensive or start crying over my failures, I’m learning to live with it. I do my best most days, other days I’m rubbish but I’m human and I get tired. I wouldn’t change him for the world.
I totally know that “hug em and shake em” feeling Natalie. I had a Psyc prof at Virginia Tech that said she was convinced that God made babies cute to help balance our desire to shake em when they got into trouble. I’m inclined to agree
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..beer and cigarettes {hope for the weary mom?}
Again,your post on this site has blessed me and made me feel like I’m not alone. Thanks so much for being real!!!
Harmony´s last [type] ..Why I do what I Do
So thankful that you came today friend!
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..beer and cigarettes {hope for the weary mom?}
thanks brooke (and stacey) for this great series! we are all so weak and it’s wonderful to admit weakness together…together in our weakness we are strong. Thank you that our true source of strength is God alone!
I don’t even want to begin to think of what i’ll ask for at the end of the day after taking care of my 3 “wild” boys and nursing my 4th.
I know that after the 3rd boy came and my oldest was still 3, one night my husband came home and i was so frustrated I just grabbed my purse and walked out the door.
Unfortunately I left my keys on the counter. I stood in the garage contemplating what to do next. After about 10 minutes I made the “walk of shame” back into the house… fortunately we both laughed and my spirit was a little restored. I learned my lesson…remember the keys!!
Heather´s last [type] ..Few Favorites Friday: November 11th
Heather, you just send us a tweet and a care package of “root beer” and “candy cigs” will magically arrive on your doorstep. Along with a whole lot of prayer from those who have been there and love you dearly!
Stacey´s last [type] ..More Hope for Your Weary Heart
I love it! I tend to do that stuff too Heather. When I really want to make a point over something, or get huffy, I’ll trip or run into something. I think it’s God’s way of humbling me
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..beer and cigarettes {hope for the weary mom?}
I needed this more than you will ever know! I love my boys who are now 4 and 2. I work outside the home as a nurse a couple times a month, but am mainly a SAHM and lately it has been driving me crazy!! I just want to get out! (right now I am laughing AND crying at the craziness of it all) I have been feeling so guilty because I feel like such a failure, Praise the Lord! You are right, I am not perfect, but God is!! I DON’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT!! I know it’s simple, but I just needed to hear that!
Carrie…I’ve found that sometimes just speaking what we know to be true out loud really helps. That’s why I drive my neighbors crazy screaming “HELP ME JESUS!!!” all the time
So hear me say it friend. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT! Jesus already was for you.
Be blessed today friend.
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..beer and cigarettes {hope for the weary mom?}
Good stuff!! Thank you!
Your comment toward the end – “let Him be strong for you” – brought to mind a favorite (and well-known) verse. Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.” The New American says “Cease striving” – love that. My heart hears “Stop trying so hard and let Me be God for you!”
Thanks for the reminder!
Love this! I have two older girls who we adopted from Ethiopia and have felt exactly the same way! Thanks for sharing!
Danielle´s last [type] ..Some news!
(Sorry if this is a duplicate, I am having computer problems)
Too funny… I know at the time it wasn’t, but as time progresses we can usually look back at those crazy times in our lives and just laugh! I can remember when my children were young… I had 3 (2 boys and a girl) in 4 1/2 years (?What was I thinking?) There were days I didn’t come out of my pj’s… and who knows if I even brushed my hair (that would require me to find the brush that one of the kids had taken as their own!) Now my children are teenagers with one in college. I have a new perspective now on life and beauty; I so wish I could go back to that young stage and learn to laugh and enjoy more! I am not sure which ages are more difficult, the toddler years or the teen years… there really isn’t much of a difference (haha). However now, they are young adults in the making. They are experiencing the harness of life and the problems of this world. They are being tugged by negative influences. There are days I feel like such a failure; so powerless to help them. But thankfully, I am not alone. Jesus loves these souls even more than I do… so I will continue to stay on my knees for them. Oh, how I miss the days of spilled cheerios and milk… but God has such a great sense of humor! Now I have a new baby, 8 month old boy, so I get to enjoy the college years and teething all the same time… I wouldn’t have it any other way! I just found your blog today… love it! God bless you and your rambunctious little boys!
Tara´s last [type] ..“Miracle-Grow” Needed!
ahhhh thank you for sharing this honest post. thank you for the reminders from the Word. it was perfect timing! can i call you so i can here “normal” again =0) life has become so crazy since school started..it seems as though there is never a “down time” for myself or my hubby. we know we are walking in his ways, and that He doesn’t give more then we can handle. We know that all we need is already available to us, we just need to reach out, but somehow in the business of each day it is so easy to just simply forget what God has promised, seems easier to just give up on everything including marrriage… but those are lies from the enemy and God’s grace is sufficient! It is when I am weak then i am strong… i can rise up on wings of eagles and go forth in the power of the Holy Spirit. Life will come together and we will look back and understand why we went through our momentary struggles… thank you again for sharing your heart and His Word. you are such a blessing.
Brooke…..I feel like you are telling my story! I HAVE 2 “IN-YOUR FACE” BOYS 23 MONTHS APART!!!! I remember the “dont sit on the baby” days. They are now 4 and 6 years old, and things arent easier, just a new kind of difficult. My oldest has sensory processing issues, and I homeschool! THEN….there was the princess. We now have a 12 week old little lady. SO…..back to the “dont sit on the baby” days again! As I type this(in my gown @ nearly noon) she’s nursing….wearing only one sock! Its one of those days! Thank you for your encouraging words….they disarm my insane moments!
Oh my goodness!! I had to laugh! I have 3 boys…4 years apart. (The last two exactly a year apart!) I had a neighbor tell a mutual friend she thought I was awful because I yelled at them. In their early years I begged God to change things…I still do sometimes! I just want them to get along and quick breaking my stuff! But, I love them, each one. I know they are God’s gift to me…they definitely keep me in prayer!
Thank you for this post. I REALLY needed to hear that message. I AM NOT ENOUGH!
This bring stears to my eyes reading it! My days in a nutshell – so glad for the reminder. So pleased to know I am not alone. My boys are 6 and 2 with a little girl just born 4 months ago and YES they are nothing but loud and gross and all BOY! lol What a blessing to find your blog here! Just the inspiration and renewing my spirit has needed as of late!
I’m still waiting on my chocolate and cherry coke.
Angie´s last [type] ..It Came Upon a Midnight Clear