My son is two.
Very, very two.
The kind of two that lies prostrate on the living room floor screaming for forty five minutes, his screams punctuated only by a special kind of thrashing that can be likened only to ‘the worm.’
He is loud and rambunctious and forever throwing himself from something he shouldn’t have been climbing and scaling the furniture and hitting his sisters and throwing a football up on the counter tops with the express purpose of shattering the breakables that I have desperately crowded into the only “safe” place I could conceptualize. At night, I fall face down in bed with my ears ringing, stopping just short of crying myself to sleep from the exhaustion.
And I have come to see all of this as a very good thing.
Because never has this world been changed by a passive man.
One with a more restrained temperament, yes…but there is certainly nothing about my son that can be called “restrained!” He is vibrant and passionate and wild inside.
How can I pray that he will fill in the extraordinarily large shoes that a man of God must grow in to, and simultaneously try to slip a bit and bridle over him? How can I teach him to step out boldly for the Lord, yet force him into a box…one labeled “Good Behavior?” {The new version of “Seen and Not Heard?”}
I can’t. And I don’t want to.
Day by day, I pray for the wisdom not to temper his personality, but to harness the fire inside him. And not to simply let him run amuck, but to guide his energies, and focus them where he is strong; where God will take my exasperated tears over this Tasmanian devil of a boy, and transform him into a gale force powerhouse of a man.
My son is two. Very very two. And by the grace of God, he will still live with the same vivacious intensity, directed under the banner of God’s ways and seasoned with wisdom when he is eighty two.
And that he will keep barreling down the track of his life, setting the world on fire for God {and please Lord, not my couch}…
wild and free.
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WONDERFUL way to say it. What a great way to look at the precariousness that is little boys. They are rough and tumble and hard to keep down…but as the Lord reminded me tonight they are also sooo much fun to be around and get to know each and every day…THANK YOU for posting this…may I keep that in my memory banks from now until Monkey is no longer a Monkey but a young man!
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They sure are fun!
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I am working with my son to know the difference between anger and righteous anger. The fine line between them is very blurry right now.
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Some wise words from my mom who is grandmother to 6 boys and great-grandma to 1 boy….she has told me many time that the things we as moms see as a weakness will become their strength as they get older.
Harnessing that little boy energy into an acceptable outlet is key….outdoor play was my lifesaver with an enclosed back yard!
Now I am looking up to see my sons, well all except the youngest..the other two tower over me!
God bless you with an extra measure of patience and tons of energy to keep up!
Thank you Amie!
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Imagine my surprise when I did *not* find a photo of my extremely and passionately two-year-old little dude! Are you sure you weren’t looking in at my window yesterday?
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You caught me…I totally was!
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This brought tears to my eyes. I have a 6 year old who is exactly like your son. He’s been the same forever, just a burning ball of energy which when undirected comes out in ‘bad behaviour’. But he’s not bad, just pent up and in need of running a marathon, chasing a soccer ball, swimming. It was a timely reminder to me that I need to find the energy to focus him more and maybe discipline less. My exhaustion is my problem and not his!!
Amen, sister!
Muthering Heights´s last [type] ..Yes, He Is Wild: And Why That’s A Good Thing
I have four boys who are very much BOYS!! So I agree with this post.
I can’t and wouldn’t want any passive boys…it’s hard, but worth having to raise our boys into real men for God. Thanks for this post-it made me smile. 
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What a fantastic post! I have two boys–and they are very very BOY. I feel like printing this out and having it handy when we are having a rough day
.
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Moms….don’t confuse “discipline” with punishment!! Discipline is just what these “wild” boys need
Discipline can be FUN and even exciting. I say this with humility b/c I often confused the two and wasn’t too creative in trying to discipline my children. Scripture tells us not to exasperate our children and I think too much punishment does that. Good discipline guides and SHOWS children by example and by working WITH them rather than against them.
We all want to be the best mom we can be but if I had it to do over, I’d focus much more of my effort toward being the woman that God wants me to be FIRST and the mom part would have come much more naturally.
Excellent points JO!
Muthering Heights´s last [type] ..Yes, He Is Wild: And Why That’s A Good Thing
LOVE this
I have two boys ages 2 and 4 whom are EXTREMELY different than their 10-year-old sister. Your blog piece is a wonderful way to explain the nature of a boy whom one day will be come a mighty man of valor. I enjoy raising my boys, even though it is something out of a caveman comic, it warms my heart with joy and pride to be their mother every time I see them!
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Love love love this quote: Because never has this world been changed by a passive man
This speaks volumes to me!
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Thank you so much for this post! It was exactly what I needed to hear before getting my two year old bundle of energy out of bed this morning. I really wouldn’t change him, but keeping up with him and training him wears me out! It’s refreshing to be reminded I’m not alone in this daily challenge.
LOVE this. Thank you for this wonderful perspective. I am sure I will refer to this post for encouragement many times over the next few years. I am already seeing the same zest for life in my 5 month old. The Lord knows I need HIM to help be parent this spunky boy into a man of God. THANK YOU for the reminder to pray for my son in this specific way.
Thanks for the encouragement. My 4 yr old is going through something similar and I just keep telling myself that when he puts that strong will to God purpose, amazing things are going to happen. In the mean time, I try to keep my cool in front of him and save my tears for bedtime too!
Ah, the never-ending noise! I get so darn tired of all the noise!
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Oh yes…as wonderful as all that spunky noise can be, I think all mothers of boys need a good set of earmuffs to muffle the sound once in a while…
Muthering Heights´s last [type] ..Yes, He Is Wild: And Why That’s A Good Thing
love it!!! i have 3 boys and this explains my youngest almost to a t!!! i love him more then anything but he is worlds different form his older brothers!! thanks for posting this!! it warms my heart to know that i am not alone and that with prayer there is still hope!!! haha for both him and me!!!!
O bless you sister! I have 2 boys, 7 and 3. And raising them is a constant conflict between allowing them to live the personality and purpose that God has for them, and what my ‘sisters in Christ’ feel God’s way! Then there are the seasoned educators who rigorously advertise God’s way of training our children! Not even to mention society! My greatest battle is also to form without changing their persons! But again, the battle belongs to the Lord and being in His presence always, gives us the wisdom in the moment. Eyes of people and onto God. Ears deaf at peopke and tuned to God! God bless. Thank you for sharing! b
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I am impressed with your patience and open-mindedness, Jessica. Maybe that’s the reason why you were given such a loud and rambunctious – as you call him – child because God knows you can handle and embrace him easily.
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Thank you for the encouragement! I must admit, though, that it doesn’t come easily for me. I have three girls, and am more m=naturally wired to be a girl mom! Perhaps God has given me this wild man to help me grow?
Muthering Heights´s last [type] ..Yes, He Is Wild: And Why That’s A Good Thing
To harness the fire without quenching it-such a great balance to strive for. I agree that the world has never been changed by passive men.
My son isn’t little, but balancing the two doesn’t get easier with time, and takes a great amount of discernment from God in order to determine which it is I am doing:)
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Amen, sister!
When I was pregnant with my now nearly two years old son, I had very specific prayers for him. I prayed that he would be confident, that he’d be a leader, that he would be sure of himself, that he would know and love God, know what he believed in, not be afraid to pursue that which he knows to be right… an exhaustive list of all the characteristics I wish I had.
I prayed that he would know what he wanted and needed to do with his life, and not be afraid to do it.
And then he was born… and as he grows, and perfect strangers tell me he’s a handful, or that he’s got a strong will, or that he’s got “fire in is belly” or whatever people choose to say, I realize with an unexplainable peace: I prayed this strong-willed child right into my life. I flat-out ASKED God to bless my boy with a strong will. With passion. With commitment. He sure does have these things, and they sure do test my patience… BUT, when I frame these characteristics with my prayers for his life from the time he was conceived, I see it all very differently.
Great post. Thank you for the encouragement!
Well said. My two year old is also “very two” so I relate with what you said completely. (I also love how you said that… “two. very two”) It’s hard to know when he is being his strong willed personality and when it’s time to discipline. I don’t want to break his spirit. Does that make sense? I have all three boys, wondering what the two behind him with be like at two!?
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Yes, the passive man is a curse of sin. That is not what we should desire for our boys. Great post, jess!
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Thank you Melissa!
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Sometimes I find it hard to read this blog for these exact sentiments. I don’t know you and I’m surely not judging you based on this one post…but aren’t we supposed to train our children in the way they should go? And isn’t self-control a quality extolled by scripture? I also have young kids, so I’m aware that you can always have moments like those described! But I don’t fall into bed every night exhausted and wanting to cry myself to sleep (in fact that is rare if it ever happens). And I certainly don’t think my toddlers tantrums are a good thing, nor would I encourage others to feel that way. I’m not trying to start a debate or make people angry. I love the desire of the mom’s here to encourage one another. But I think it is one thing to say, “look, we all have bad days – take heart,” and another thing to say, “every day my kids are crazy and that’s great!” I think wildness leads to wildness. Passion to passion. Our kids can be passionate and self controlled. I think they NEED that. Maybe you were getting at this balance in your post, but it seems more of a desire to unleash the child is what you want. Sorry, I just can’t agree with that.
Oh, I certainly don’t think that his tantrums are a good thing…they are quite intense, but so is the rest of his personality! I spend 99.99% of my day pouring into his training. The point I hoped to make is that I don’t want him to spend his life feeling like the intensity that is so deeply ingrained in him is wrong or shameful; just something that needs to be directed into a more appropriate venue.
As I mentioned above, he is only two, so we have plenty of time to work on self control! I have three other children {two of whom are older than my son}, and they definitely had their moments…but they don’t have the same fire in their comprehensive personalities that this little guy does.
I *do* hope to unleash him one day, but as I mentioned in the post, with God’s purpose for his life in mind, not just for the sake of running wild.
Does that make sense?
Muthering Heights´s last [type] ..Yes, He Is Wild: And Why That’s A Good Thing
Thank you for writing these words! I’ve been getting so exasperated with my son! So much energy and he just doesn’t listen! I think his little brain is just moving too quickly to register the words that enter his ears! Thank you for reminding me of how I want to parent!!
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS!!! I also have a very VERY two year old…and a very very five year old, and a very very six year old (and one 8 year old daughter). And I’ve been so exhausted lately. But I’ve always said, “If we can just figure out how to harness that passion and energy, they’re going to change the world.”
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I pray that they do!
Jessica Heights´s last [type] ..Yes, He Is Wild: And Why That’s A Good Thing
Thank you! I laughed and then I cried and felt like I wasn’t alone. My son is normal and so am I when I am exhausted and overwhelmed at the end of the day. And you have given me a new perspective to see me through it. Thank you!
Thank you so much for this article. I needed it. I want and try to dobthe same with my boy (he will be three in October). I felt like you were describing my son.
I have a daughter who will be five in March and I try to do the same for her as well.
Any tips you can provide to help me to do this more effectively would be appreciated. I’m a mom who loves her kids who wants to point her kids toward God. I want to help them to grow up to be God fearing and God loving people. I want to guide them (by the grace of God and with His help) to be the best and happiest they can be, enjoying life to the fullest the way God intended.
Please reply any comments about my previous post to this one so that notification will go to my email.
oh how i loved to read your post today Jessica as my family prepares to attend our weekly small group bible study. i can very much relate to your post. i have an oh so very two year old boy and he is ever so lively. the other families in our group have girls so my very active, loud (especially when throwing a tantrum and boy can he throw a tantrum) little two year old sticks out like a sore thumb. everyone’s very nice, but it’s hard for them to relate because they dont have boys. i do love his energy. Lord give me strength!
Thank you so much for this post. My oldest (of 3 boys) is at his 3rd day of Kindergarten and I have been sick with anxiety over what color he is going to come home with on his behavior chart. I am sitting here humbled and in tears after reading this. We have called him our Texas Tornado since he was a baby. And I have made so many mistakes in parenting him. I am so grateful for your words of wisdom and the comments as well.
I have four very boyish boys…some getting testosterone, also. Lord, help me! I grew up with four sisters and sometimes this feels like too much to handle.
So when four are going wild, what do I do? Go in my room, hide, and pray? Too often, I must confess, I do. I have lots of energy, but so often it doesn’t seem like enough.
I’m relying on the grace of God…not MY performance, consistency, or anything else.
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I rarely comment here, but I have to tell you that I’m printing this out and pasting it onto my fridge. One of my friends sent me an email this morning with this link … when she first started reading it and saw the description of your two year old she thought to herself — Is Hyacynth writing for MOB Society now? lol
At any rate, I can seriously relate to this description. My youngest and your boy are cuts from the same cloth. Thank you for reminding me to lean on following the Spirit as I parent him.
These little men surely are a challenge…but it will be amazing for us to rejoice as they grow to be strong men of God!
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THANK YOU for posting this! i seriously didn’t know other parents went through the same kind of tantrums we endure w/ our son. my heart is encouraged to know we are not alone. God is gracious to lead me to this post when i need it. “harness the fire inside of him”, yes…it is what i need His wisdom to do well. may He receive all the glory through our little man (almost 2).