Heart Rules

These last few months have been hard on my boy and I. He’s growing up and pulling away from my arms and rules and instructions with an urgent need to be free, independent, on his own.

Every day seems to be filled to the brim with reminders~ please don’t jump on the furniture, please don’t slam the door, please put your things away, please don’t spit on your sister, please stop picking your nose, please get dressed we have to go right now…my house rules, tried and true, are suddenly not working, suddenly falling on deaf ears.

Sigh.

I catch myself wondering sometimes where my sweet little boy went~ the quiet one full of cuddles, whose smile would light up the room when I walked in, who would obey without question. I struggle with feeling like his independence is disrespect, when in fact I know logically he’s just growing, and that I have to grow with him; learn to parent him afresh as he stretches his wings and attempts to make his way slowly into this big world.

It’s my job to keep growing too, and as much as I need to train my boy, I need to train myself to see him as beautiful and precious always, even if I sometimes feel like my eardrums are going to burst or the bed is going to collapse.  You see, my need for orderly control is for me…not him. And I need to let go, I need to “let God” guide us both through these next years as momma and son.

So one day we discard the house rules that have been taped to my wall for awhile~ rip them up and throw them in the trash. He thinks it’s funny, and I explain to him that I’ve been focused on all the wrong things. Instead of house rules, we are now going to have heart rules.

1. Love one another

2. Honor one another

3. Serve one another

4. Cherish one another

5. Encourage one another

I know these words are big, I know these words are bold.  But I also know that he can handle it, the tall order to start the baby steps towards becoming a man.

Another sigh, some tears follow. I don’t want to let go but know I have to~ because these heart rules are the most important kind. The ones that will teach him to treat others the same way Jesus would.

We look up the big words, and he tries to come up with examples of how he did with the new rules that day.  All while bouncing on the bed, making farting noises, and alternating between talking in a fake language and screaming at the top of his lungs.

I smile, and tuck him in.

Because one day he’ll be a man. And one day he’ll be grown. And one day he’ll be gone.

I pray these heart rules can teach him how to shine God and glory and Love and Truth.  Because THAT is all that matters.

• Push, Pull
• Hide it in your heart…
• How firm a foundation