Most of the titles we have we get to choose. I was a student, then a teacher, then a wife, then a mom. I’m a pastor’s wife, a blogger, and a homeschooler. But I now have a title I didn’t choose for myself–special needs mom.
I’m not new to the special needs world. My older sister has Down’s Syndrome. I grew up going to Special Olympics track meets, hearing my parents talk about IEP meetings, and making sure people knew that the “R” word offended me. But I had no idea how involved I would become as a mom.
When we took our youngest son to the pediatrician for his three year well visit I voiced my concerns about his development. They referred me to the local school district that evaluated him. After spending about an hour with a speech pathologist, occupational therapist, and child psychologist, they were ready with their diagnosis. He has autism. Current stats say one in 150 children in the US is autistic, and autistic boys outnumber girls 4 to 1.
When you hear a diagnosis like autism (or when my mom heard the diagnosis of Down’s Syndrome) you go through the grieving process. You may be in denial, then sad, then angry.
Then one day (probably one of those days you’re feeling denial, sadness, and anger all at the same time!) God reminds you of His love, His mercy, and ultimately His control. You open His Word and read a promise that speaks clearly and deeply to your need. For me, that verse was Psalm 126:5, ” Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.”
So I’m starting off 2011 with a new label–special needs mom. I’m researching epsom salt baths, GFCF foods and a busy sensory diet. I’m letting go of my expectations of “normal” and learning what works for us. Most days I’m still sowing tears. But I’m praising God for the opportunity He has given me with this new title and remembering that my son is fearfully and wonderfully made exactly the way he is (Psalm 139:14).
Sometimes we do question why we go through what we do, but we find out later that God was just preparing for what is ahead. Isn’t that wonderful!
It is truly wonderful! Thanks for the reminder!
Sandra´s last [type] ..7-30pm
You are a wonderful Mom, Sandra, and James is one incredible little boy! I can’t wait to see God’s plan for him to unfold over the years!
Nikki´s last [type] ..Math Facts Now
Thank you so much Nikki! I also can’t wait to see God’s plan for him! <3
Sandra´s last [type] ..3-15pm
I went through the same process of grieving on my son being diagnosed with multiple life-threatening food allergies. There’s nothing like your child’s health to bring you to your knees! I can promise you that as you continue to surrender to God’s will for you and your son’s life that the tears will indeed become joy.
Anne´s last [type] ..Labor and Delivery- the QECH Way
Thank you for your encouragement! I know there are many moms out there who can relate in different ways. Said a prayer for you and your son this morning!
Sandra´s last [type] ..3-15pm
I remember getting my son’s diagnosis like it was yesterday. (it’s been a little over a year now)
There was denial, sadness, questioning, and finally acceptance. I’d be lying if I didn’t say there are still times of sadness but as time moves a long they are spaced further apart.
We were fortunate enough to get a wonderful team for my son through the school district for home services. Now that my son (3 1/2) has moved on to preschool he has a great support system there as well. L has made amazing progress in since services began in December 2009 (diagnosis @ the end of Oct 09) and I can only pray that his progress continues.
Wonderful! I’m so glad you have a good team. I think the worst part is feeling like you’re alone or the only one going through what you’re going through. That’s why I’m also thankful for this site and moms like you who comment to encourage those of us just starting on this journey!
Sandra´s last [type] ..7-30pm
Sandra,
My 2nd son was born with a VERY large head (with a long narrow shape) and very low muscle tone. I definitely experienced all those feelings of sadness, worry and anger. 4 years later we do not have a diagnosis but have been actively involved in therapies and special ed preschool and now junior kindergarten. The worry and sadness still come back, but with it comes a love and appreciation for your child, just for being who they are. God knew what He was doing in placing your son in your life and his timing is always perfect. As hard as that is sometimes to see in the moment, it is an amazing thing to hold on tightly to.
So true! Thankful we have something to hold tightly to, a sure and steadfast anchor for our souls (Heb. 6:19).
Sandra´s last [type] ..7-30pm
My son has a very mild disability (auditory) but still…it can sting to hear other moms with typically developing children “wear” their children’s accomplishments like badges of honor.
That’s true. A friend and I say we can’t take credit for the good or blame for the bad in our kids’ lives. Both extremes put too much pressure on us and our kids!
Sandra´s last [type] ..7-30pm