This child is not one to wear his heart on his sleeve. He is more fighter than lover. In the past, he’s shown love in many ways, like singing with me to the car radio. Still, his status quo is to forgo the mushy stuff and put on the brave I’m-really-10-years-older-than-I-am face.
But lately? This 11 year old has been living love to me like I’ve not seen since the toddler years. He snuggles me. He tells me he loves me multiple times a day. He asks my advice.
And he listens to what I say. Sometimes.
His passionate personality knows no middle ground. This child has a strong willed nature that runs a mile wide and I’ve been on my knees more than a few times begging for parenting smarts. When times are hard I can feel like I’m not qualified to parent a fence post much less any child.
Then God gives a gift of grace here and I get to see some fruit from these prayers. God is refining our boy and filling in the gaps. Some of our words and the Word are sinking in. I’m relishing this season when he is putting his passion towards a little demonstrative love rather than something negative.
“Like a gifted gardener, a mother’s role in nurturing her children is both difficult and delightful. Sometimes we get to enjoy beauty and sweet fragrance, and other times we’re sweating and pulling weeds in the heat of the day.”
Scharlotte Rich from The Promise of a Mother’s Prayers
We aren’t done yet, and heaven knows there’s still opportunity to do some (more) damage. Those teen years are coming and we have plenty of time for him to ping pong back and forth between his desire to grip childhood and grab adulthood. That strong willed nature isn’t gone for good; we will butt heads again. Just the same, I’m treasuring these times now, enjoying the fragrant garden after a season of serious weed-pulling. I don’t know how long it’ll last…maybe ’til tomorrow or maybe much longer. So, I’m going to savor and stockpile this ’til I’ve got a good deposit for those days when he wants to withdraw some independence and keep Mama distant.
Are you in a season of parenting weed pulling? Do you feel like all the yanking in the world won’t make those stubborn weeds give way? Take heart! That’s the perfect spot to be in for God to do His thing. You don’t have what it takes on your own, but He has what it takes and then some. Keep pulling and pruning and watering. Invest time and effort and attention into your children and the fruit will come. Pray for them in your quiet time, in the car, in their beds as they sleep. Allow mistakes for your kids and yourself. Model His mercies that are new every morning and His unlimited do-overs.
And watch your garden grow.
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Thank you for this encouragement. I love the analogy of a garden, and the weed pulling that is necessary. Sometimes it does feel like boys require more weed pulling, but the sweet times are oh so sweet. I like this especially, “Invest time and effort and attention into your children, and the fruit will come.” – wise words!
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It’s so good to treasure those sweet times, huh? I’m thankful for them. I’m also thankful for your fellowship here, Courtney! Have a great day.
thank you! I so needed to be told this. Our 5 1/2 year old is going through a major weed pulling stage right now. I love the analogy and it surely will give me some more patience with him realizing that when he is 11 I will look back and see the fruits of that work. but man, just like my garden, that can be work!!!
Amy, 5 1/2 was an uber rough season here in these parts.
I’m praying for you now, Sister! Keep on doin’ what you have to do…the fruit WILL come! He is faithful!
Love it!! Love that sweet boy too:)
And he adores his Auntie!
Thank you so much for this reminder and encouragement! I have 2 amazing boys that have recently had me pulling weeds, sometimes it seems without success, yet I still see God working in them daily. I know I need to continue pulling and praying, and give the rest to God.
Keep up the good work, Katie! We cheer you on!
“His passionate personality knows no middle ground. This child has a strong willed nature that runs a mile wide and I’ve been on my knees more than a few times begging for parenting smarts. When times are hard I can feel like I’m not qualified to parent a fence post much less any child.”
I could have written that! Seriously, just the other day I sat on my couch in a crumpled heap and said up at the ceiling, “I can’t do this, God!” But He gently reminded me that He wouldn’t have given me the strong-willed only child that He gave me if I couldn’t do it.
I feel like I’ve been pulling weeds since he was 18 months old – he’s 11 now. The same old weed…disrespect. I’ve had friends gently tell me they see it in him; I’ve had leaders from Awana tell me the same thing. I know it’s his biggest issue…I also know I don’t have a clue how to get rid of it.
Prayers are appreciated, y’all!
Heathahlee´s last [type] ..Bible in 90 Days – Day 21
Praying for you right now, Heathahlee. Man, this parenting thing isn’t for wimps! Sometimes I wish I could wave my magic wand and have it all better. But then perhaps our lessons would never stay learned if that happened? I’m sure you’ve thought of this…but maybe it would help to figure out what his “currency” is, that is what he’d miss not having (computer games, outings with friends, money) ’til the disrespect thing is out the window. In the meantime, I’m praying His heart softens so it wants to do what it needs to do! Hang in there, Mama…we stand with you!
Thank you so much, Kristen! It helps knowing other moms who have boys with similar temperaments (if not the same weaknesses) are praying!
Heathahlee´s last [type] ..Bible in 90 Days – Day 21