Today’s guest post is from our friend Carrie Russell, from Little Llamas. You can find her on Twitter as @LittleLlamas and on Facebook!
I love you more than rocks – reaching the hearts of our boys
When I look into the eyes of my little wild man, I confess there are days I wonder if I will ever reach his heart. How did this sweet little baby boy become such a loud, energy filled, stick tossing, drum banging boy?? And can I ever tame this wild beast to be a chivalrous man who loves God? I have found the following 5 things helpful to remember…especially on those days when his heart seems far from me.
1—Look and Praise Him for the positive things he has done today. It is easy to see our sons’ faults. I try and make an effort to point out to my son when I see him doing right, choosing the right way to go, serving, obeying, etc. By praising our sons for their good hearts and actions, we are showing them the way God has instructed them to live.
2— Engage your son physically — in play and in affection.
Play--We have a saying… “you just need to get your energies out”. Boys need a physical outlet. Sometimes a good run around the block, or wrestle on the carpet is just what the doctor ordered to recalibrate my son’s heart and his relationship with me. Sometimes I just need a good tickle or game of tag with him to refuel my enjoyment of him.
Affection— Make sure to get in a good cuddle time, especially while they are still in the cuddling age. Boys are just physical beings and connecting with them in play, instruction and affection will go a long way in reaching their hearts
3– Have special moments to connect that are just for him and mommy. My son and I have a special thing we do at bed time… I don’t know when we started it. We engage in this back forth silly game of “I love you more than…” It is fun and sweet to go back and forth telling each other how much we love each other…more than coffee, more than cookies, more than rocks, more than frogs, more than shopping, etc. Those precious conversations are priceless and I know won’t last forever.
4— Pray for him and with him. I find that my son’s heart(and my own) are softened when we pray about the areas he needs to grow in. God’s word truly does penetrate hearts, and I find when sharing scripture with him concerning his sin or disobedience, his heart is open to listen. Sometimes I just pray over him, asking God to grow him in kindness towards his sisters, in patience, to help with anger and self control. Letting him see how my heart breaks (and more importantly, God’s heart breaks) over his sin, helps me to connect to his heart.
5—Remember… God’s Mercies are new every morning. New Mercies…For you and for your son. Isn’t it funny that however much we can be worn out from these wild men, that when we hear that little pitter patter down the hallway in the morning, we can’t help but smile. Let us remember to give our son’s the grace each day that God extends to us.
What special ways do you connect with your son?
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We play the “I love you more…” game. My youngest LOVES to say, “No Mommy, we love each other the same”. These are great points. Thanks for the reminder!!
Important words. My oldest boy was being very…challenging…this morning. All morning. I finally took him to the side when we got to his classroom and we prayed for a moment together for him to have a good day and be respectful to his teacher and kind to his friends. I was amazed that he immediately calmed down to begin praying and I drop him off only a moment later much more mellow. Not happy, but definitely calmer and more ready to listen and follow directions.
We’ve only been doing morning, before-school prayers as a family for about 2 weeks now, but the kids really seem to respond to it and it makes us all head off to our “jobs” with a refreshed spirit and better attitude.
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My eldest of course jumps to loving me infinity to the infinty power. I will remind him of this every day. I also love praying with and over them. It also brings back my patience, self-control and kindness.