I see him in his room,
forever frozen in my memory at age 7 or 8. He is all elbows and feet. His bangs- too long, hanging in his eyes. He’s playing with Legos. Alone. I remember it all now, he was such a lonely boy.
He was my brother for 6 years. His father and my mother’s second marriages. His mother started a new family, new brothers-and he had no place. He came to us, and had no place. 6 years we were family- of sorts. The adults in our lives occasionally did the best they could-but mostly they did what they wanted. I grew into a teenager, self-absorbed…the novelty of a brother wore off, and he was mostly alone. Our family split apart, new marriages all around, new siblings.
I forgot all about that season.
I forgot, until my boy reached that certain age. He is all feet and elbows, his hair hangs in his eyes. My boy loves to sit on my lap and read with me. My boy holds my hand, my boy talks to me all the time. All the time. About everything. My boy plays with Legos. And I ache at night over my too-late knowledge of what a boy needs. I pray for forgiveness for the selfishness of youth, and make wishes for an alternate reality. I pray for happiness and love for my lost brother, wherever he is.
My mother’s heart knows now, the wisdom hidden from me then: A boy needs time. A boy needs fellowship. A boy needs to be included in your life; to walk with you, to talk with you. A boy needs to pray with you- to see you pray, to see you strong and to see you weak. A boy needs to know that he is accepted, loved, and always has a place. A boy needs to know his place, in relation to his God, his parents, his neighbors and siblings. A boy needs.
The Bible tells me that “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:…a time to build up,…a time to embrace,…a time to gain, and a time to lose; A time to keep,…and a time to speak; A time to love,…” -Ecclesiastes 3:1,3,5-8
It’s easy to forget- but pause and remember, now is your season. Fill your boy’s need, while he is yours.
We live in such a busy age, surrounded by 24 hours of things to be done, the needful and the immediate. In the rush, the immediate gets attended to. The unspoken need is silent, unobtrusive, set aside for another day.
“Dear Lord, help us remember…”, now is the season. Heed the call while he is still yours. Put away the work, the dishes can wait another hour. Turn off the email, enter into his play.
I see him in his room.
He is all feet and elbows. His bangs-too long, hanging a bit in his eyes. He is playing in his room alone, playing with Legos.
I go in, ask him to walk with me. He holds my hand, and we talk,
about everything.
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Wow – you made me cry. I love that reminder that now is my season. I think I need to put that in a frame on the wall. I have 5 children, 4 of them boys. Now is my season. I will turn around and then it will be gone! Thank you.
Blessings
Honey
Honey, thank you for taking the time to leave a comment- I cried a bit as I wrote it.
You are so right, the season goes by so quick!
much grace and peace to you this week
Jenny @Home is Where…´s last [type] ..LENS Photo Challenge-Orange-WINNERS!
Made me cry too. I have two amazing little boys and this was a wonderful reminder of what is important. Thank you. I’m going to go hug my messy, dirty, loveable little guys! =)
I read this as my son is snuggled close to me watching his morning show before we start our day. We are still waking up, warm under a blanket on the couch playing footsie. Your words filled me with love and hope. I love this ‘season’. thank you!
Hugs and Prayers,
Lori
your mornings sound fabulous, I wouldn’t change a thing!
Jenny @Home is Where…´s last [type] ..LENS Photo Challenge-Orange-WINNERS!
It’s amazing to me how I read these posts and know they’re good when I’m scheduling them, but then I read them again when they’re live and they hit me in a whole new way. I loved the same thing Honey did…”Now is my season.” It’s the recognition of this that finally gave my husband and I the strength to take a leap of faith and choose for me to stay home. This season has ups and downs…good days and bad…but it’s mine with them. And nothing on earth could be so important that it would make we want to lose this season with my precious blessings. Thank you Jenn!
Brooke McGlothlin´s last [type] ..Something Different
Brooke, thank you for your kind words. God bless you and your family on this journey!
Jenny @Home is Where…´s last [type] ..LENS Photo Challenge-Orange-WINNERS!
My son is also 9. He’s growing up in a home with all sisters, surrounded with farmland which he loves, but is closest Christian male friend is 45 minutes away. He attends school but because of his special needs and the cruelty of children he tends to wander the playground alone. It breaks my heart but I worry about babying him.
He snuggles into my shoulder to watch TV and N E V E R stops talking. I grew up with all sisters, so I thought he enjoyed playing legos by himself, since he gets upset when other mess things up. I almost missed this season, I didn’t realize it. Thank you for opening my eyes.
Amy ~ The Crimson Beloved´s last [type] ..Relevant & Pix-o-sphere
Amy,
cyber hugs- you are doing fine!
Jenny @Home is Where…´s last [type] ..LENS Photo Challenge-Orange-WINNERS!
Beautiful. I am bad about engaging my boys in play…usually I let them play with each other and they seem happy. But I still call them each over to my lap for cuddling and hugging and reading every day. I rue the day my six year old outgrows sitting on his moms lap.
MainlineMom´s last [type] ..Ten Reasons to Fall In Love With New Orleans
Yes, I sigh in moments when it hits home that they’ve grown to big for things I cherish. He’ll always be my baby boy, though.
I’m a mother of 8 sons and my oldest is 17. It seems like yesterday we were sitting by the edge of the pond throwing rocks together. The time has flown by and now I sit by the edge with my youngest who is 4. My oldest is driving and starting to gain his own independence. Enjoy each moment! It flies by way too quickly! I so enjoyed this post! Thanks!
This piece is beautifully written. I have three boys–two of whom I would go back in an instant to savor more of the moments. My youngest gets the best of my appreciation of him and his needs, and yet I still fall short…
This is SO beautiful, it could not have been said better, nor could I agree with you more. Thank you for sharing this with us.
I have three boys: 15, 13, and almost 11. And all three stop by and give me hugs, kisses, backrubs, and “I love you”s on a consistent basis, several times each day. I’m so thankful for affectionate boys who will, I pray, grow up to be affectionate and loving men who will love on their wives, their children, their own families. Yes, they need our time and our touch, and more than that, time with God, to reach out and be touched by Him as well.
Thanks for the lovely post!
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Wonderful story,Jen. I loved the photo as much as I love you…Dad
What a story! Very inspiring!
Penny´s last [type] ..From my kitchen table & beyond!
Absolutely breathtaking. Thank you so much. You’ve moved my heart today!
Amy Sorrells´s last [type] ..Divergence in a cornfield
So such an encouraging reminder to not miss the moments passing by! Have you writtnen this somewhere else? this story of your stepbrother? I feel like I have heard your story…is it on your blog? Thanks for sharing.
Mama Llama´s last [type] ..A love that lasts
Great post!
Hey! How do I add your button to my blog? How do I add any button to my blog for that matter?
Jenny´s last [type] ..Summer-my favorite Things
Jenny,
Hi! To add the M.O.B. button, look on the left column above, you will see the button and then a white box under it. Copy the code in the white box, all of it- with your mouse (right click or if you have a mac, highlight it then push command c) then go to your blog, find the place you want it on your sidebar and paste it there. If you place it in a post, you need to switch from compose mode on your post over to html mode. I hope that helps,
Jenn