“The world of posers is shaken by a real man. They’ll do whatever it takes to get you back in line –threaten you, bribe you, seduce you, undermine you… You must let your strength show up.” – John Eldredge
Most moms of boys will agree, raising sons is harder than ever in today’s culture. We live in a society where masculinity is frowned upon and stifled in our schools, sports fields and even in our churches. Our sons are expected to stay seated, be quiet, and conform, when everything in them is telling them to do the opposite. Even moms don’t truly understand why boys take such risks or where their need to explore and conquer comes from or why they can’t seem to back down from a challenge.
In John Eldredge’s book Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul
he addresses the God-given urges that are placed on the hearts of males everywhere: a wound that needs to be healed, a battle to fight, a beauty to save and an adventure to live.
Wild at Heart, which has been re-released by Thomas Nelson Publishers as a revised and expanded version nearly a decade after its first publication, isn’t a how-to for raising boys, but rather a sneak-peek into the inner workings of a man. Eldredge does an amazing job weaving his own personal story of emotional abandonment by his father, with snippets of adventure movies, stories of battle and observations about the often overlooked intrinsic differences between men and women.
Boys who are forced to conform to our society’s watered-down version of masculinity are left feeling incomplete, insecure and defeated, Eldredge says. But those that are allowed to fully experience who God made them to be – the heroes, the warriors and the soldiers – grow up to be fulfilled and confident.
Eldredge is a counselor as well as an author, and has come into contact with so many men who weren’t permitted to follow their hearts when they were younger, which has left them with the constant fear of being exposed as failures as adults. The author himself spent decades searching for acceptance and approval of his masculinity finally discovering that he could only truly find this with our Heavenly Father.
As a mom of two boys, I found Wild at Heart to be both refreshingly truthful and intimidating. My husband and I strive to provide our sons with the encouragement, trust and support necessary to grow them into brave men who love the Lord. But we so often find ourselves wanting to shelter and protect them rather than give them the freedom they so desperately need.
After reading this book, we’re inspired to give our boys – especially our oldest – more responsibility, more of our trust and more opportunities to find what stirs their souls and ignites their passion.
*****
Thanks to the wonderful people at Thomas Nelson and this recommendation from Kristy, I (Erin) was able to read Wild at Heart for the first time recently.
Wow! Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul
is a non-fiction book that reads like a captivating novel AND reveals parts of my husband’s and sons’ hearts that I did not comrephend or even know were there. At the risk of sounding over-dramatic, I was blown away by the impact this one book had on the way I view raising my boys – and it’s not even a parenting book!
But it does reveal so much about the heart and God’s design for it as Kristy mentioned above. And that’s what we’re all about here at the MOB – reaching the HEARTS of our boys for the Lord.
So let’s get this fabulous book into your hands! With a little help from Thomas Nelson, we are giving away four copies of Wild at Heart here on the blog!
To enter to win, just leave an answer to this question: What is the biggest mystery to you about your boy’s heart?
And if you’re on Twitter or Facebook, check out ways to win there as well!
THANK YOU Thomas Nelson!!!
Related posts:
I am in love with this book and read it about once or twice every year. I’ll have to check out the expanded version!! I plan to fully use the lessons in it with my infant son as he grows, but it’s been a really good insight into the behavior and moods of my growing 13 year old stepson. This book actually offers a surprising amount of insight into girls and women too, which is expanded upon in Eldredge’s “Captivating,” co-written with his wife, Stasi. I think it’s hard as a mother because we want to be all those things that their father was made to be, but it’s also a comfort knowing what our role is in their life as well.
I recommend this book to just about everyone I ever meet. SO happy to see it featured here!!
We read this book as a family last year during devotions and it was fabulous! I gained so much insight into my boys {and my hubby} and they were able to learn about themselves and God’s design and heart for men as well. So glad you guys are recommending this book- it is a must read for moms of boys!
Melissa Multitasking Mama´s last [type] ..Misster Independent
Honestly, I want my boys to be brave, strong, bold, gentle, caring, nurturing, loving, affectionate, strong knowledgable Christians, readers, lover of animials, player of sports, hunter of wild things with their Daddy and to grow to love Christ.
I’m always scared I’m failing at raising those children. Don’t we all worry about that?
I’ve been wanting to buy this for my husband for a while. Now I want both of to read it!
My 10 yo son asks me to do so many things that I have to say “no” to…I’d like to get better at providing more “yes” opportunities that meet his needs for adventure and exploring his independence. I had two brothers, but they functioned in their own orbit…and I’m finding it is much different parenting a boy! I’d love to learn from this book.
Diane Heeney´s last [type] ..Sunday Hymnary- “I Bless the Christ of God” by Horatius Bonar- 1861
I have a 3.5 year old son and a 6 month old son. My oldest has such a “wild”, adventurous streak that I really don’t want to hold him back, but I get nervous too. Scared when he’s trying to climb things, jump off things, wrestle, etc. I don’t want them to have their wings clipped!
My son is very quiet compared to my 2 daughters. I would love to hear more from him. He is 8 and loves to write about things, but not talk about them. It is hard to tell when he is excited!
My boys are still young, but some of the things I don’t quite understand is thier enjoyment of everything loud.
They enjoy making noise just for the fun of it. 
My 3 sons are 5, 3 and 1 and I am always wondering about my 5 year old’s heart. What he is feeling, how he is feeling etc. We have very insightful conversations and it sounds like this book will help me understand (better) not only my 3 young sons, but my husband as well.
We have a 4 yr old and a 2 1/2 year old. Right now my biggest question on raising these little men is how to help them handle their emotions in a way that helps them process and resolve, and does not let them live in a funk or manipulate others.
It’s hard to answer this as my son is only 3-1/2 months old. However, I can see his need to be a warrior already. He is constantly moving (he is even moving some of the time in his sleep). He has already figured out how to turn himself from his tummy to back and is starting to figure out how to turn the other way. It is fun to watch his determination. I guess determination is the positive way of looking at what some would call stubbornness. (Amazing the traits you can see in a child at such a young age). I want to be able to nurture his warrior side as he grows.
I think I understand the wild at heart part of my boys, I LOVE the heart the my Lord gave them, the desire to serve Him being so little, what I don’t understand is why my son is so emotional. He’s very sensitive to sad things. It there is a sad part in a movie, he’ll be the first to cry. And his feelings are easily hurt. So I just try to let him express it his way, but its hard sometimes. I though boys were suppose to be rough and tough all the time.
My son is this way too.
He is all boy, but he will empathize with a character in a video, saying, “I feel so sorry/bad for him.” He will often come alongside the underdog, or defend those who are weak. I am excited to see how God will use this uncommon compassion.
Diane Heeney´s last [type] ..Sunday Hymnary- “I Bless the Christ of God” by Horatius Bonar- 1861
I really struggle with the “wild” part of my two boys. After two girls, I am pretty good at quiet and be still things, but my boys are VERY different than my girls.
We live in the country on some property so there is plenty of room to roam and be “wild”, I just can’t seem to figure out what to do with them. Especially my 10yo. I don’t know if it’s the age or what but things have become much harder in the last few months.
Melinda
That is a loaded question. I just want to know what they are thinking and WHY! What is motivating them. The heart is such a hard thing to “see” sometimes. I want to be able to direct them in the right way, but when that heart is hard to see that makes doing so difficult!.
Stephanie´s last [type] ..A year later!
Raising my son to be a man among men while
following God and being a productive member of society. All of this combined with knowing his paternal influences are nor from his bio
father make for a daunting task
Laura´s last [type] ..The Long Road Home aka Folly Beach Vacation- Day Eight
I would love to know what they are thinking sometimes!!!
Laura R.´s last [type] ..Lets Make a Pop Top Tab Bracelet
I guess I would have to say that all my boys are so different, and really knowing what each one is truly passionate about and being able to direct them towards that, instead of what I think they should be passionate about. I would love to be able to read this book, It sounds like a book I need to read!
I have three boys, 26, 23, and almost 17, and even though they’re older, I’d love to read this book. I wish I’d had it when they were younger.
I can’t think of any mysteries of the heart I’d like to know about, but I’d love to understand a mystery of the brain — the phenomenon we call “male blindness.” I don’t know how often I’ve been asked by both husband and sons where something is when it is right in front of them.
Barbara H.´s last [type] ..Friday’s Fave Five
The biggest mystery? What is he thinking…what does he need from me, to know and understand about him, that will allow him to grow into the man God wants him to be.
Jessica´s last [type] ..The post in which I ramble…
I have a six year old son, and an 18 month old son… The biggest mystery is why he often has to behave like he is not listening when in fact he is
Tara´s last [type] ..Dress-Up Day
I read this book when I only had four sons…now I have five and I loved it!!! In fact I love all of his books! I just posted a post on a young man of Christian character in the sports arena because all of our sons need to see others that are true Men of God.
And yes, it has gotten harder to raise boys…my oldest is 26 and youngest is 4!
Thanks for the reminder of this book…I need to go re-read
I have 2 boys…4&6yrs of age. Biggest mystery for me right now I would have to say is… what is behind my oldest sons’ “need” to be #1, bully kids, and maybe just have the “best” or the “most”?
Tracy @ Hall of Fame Moms´s last [type] ..6-13 Saturdays- Scripturally prophetic
I would love to know how to raise boys and not crush there wild and adventureous spirit. Help to mold them into men of God not men of the world.
I was on vacation when this post first went up last week, but I just wanted to chime in… Wild At Heart helped me to finally stop scratching my head and saying “huh?” when my boys do the crazy things they do. It’s great to know that all the stunts they pull, all the dirt they get into, all the adventures they seek are all normal parts of being a boy!
Kristy K´s last [type] ..The K Family Takes on Niagara Falls
I was on vacation when this post first went up last week, but I just wanted to chime in… Wild At Heart helped me to finally stop scratching my head and saying “huh?” when my boys do the crazy things they do. It’s great to know that all the stunts they pull, all the dirt they get into, all the adventures they seek are all normal parts of being a boy!
My biggest challenge now is with my oldest who is almost 9. He is into a bragging stage where he always has to one up someone else.
Kristy K´s last [type] ..The K Family Takes on Niagara Falls
I want my little boy to be the boy/man that God wants him to be, but it’s very difficult to give him that freedom. He’s still very young, not quite 2, but his energy and activity level are quite different from my daughter and I’m not always sure how to manage him.