The Power of Words (and a giveaway for you!)

By on July 28, 2010 in the heart, Uncategorized

I want you to take a moment and think about the words you’ve spoken in your home today…Were they uplifting and encouraging? Were they sharper than a sword?

We have the ability to build up our boys or tear them down leaving them broken in the rubble.  Depending on the viciousness of our venom and the condition of our heart, we can control their thoughts about themselves, others, and even their actions.  

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.–Proverbs 12:18

Are we cutting our sons down at the knees and piercing them with our words or are we bringing them healing?  Is the tone in which we correct them wounding their spirit?  I know that I have found myself struggling with this recently.  As we near my son’s third birthday, he has become more strong-willed.  It seems each step of independence for him brings a new struggle for me.  We’re “butting heads” more and more and it seems as if my tone has taken a negative turn as I try to correct behaviors throughout the day.  I’ll admit, there are days when I’m not parenting in the spirit and my flesh runs rampant with my tongue….

A harsh “No” here….

a clenched-teeth “Stop that” there….

and by the end of the end of lunch time we’re all crying ourselves to sleep.

The tone in which I correct my son can make all the difference in the world. I can “fly off the handle” using my authority to the fullest of my power “because I’m the momma”, or I can speak kindly (but firmly) and give him a challenge. I can include him in the solution to fixing the behavior, giving him power over his choices. Usually, the latter produces the better result in our house.

But you see, it’s so much more than just the negative words that affect our boys.  Are we saying the things that they so desperately need to hear? Have they heard that we are proud of them for the good choice they made today? Do they know that we appreciate them helping clear the table before dinner? Do we shower them with “I Love You”?

Most importantly, are we pointing them toward Heaven with our words?

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It’s Slugs and Bugs day again at M.O.B. Society!  Take a look at this hilarious video of our guys singing to a group of kiddos about 10 piggy little toes!  To enter to win a Slugs and Bugs CD simply comment on the post above.

 

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Little Men – Guest Post from Ashleigh Baker

By on July 27, 2010 in Uncategorized

What fun!  Ashleigh Baker (@heartandhome) from Heart & Home talks to us today about her little men.  Do you see your boys as little men?

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“Mama?” he asks, every day at nap time. “Can you tell me about the time I helped brother get down the hill when he was stuck?”

“Mama?” he asks, at bed time. “Could you tell me about how I showed you the way to cross the stream?”

“Mama?” he asks, while munching a carrot at lunch. “Will you tell me the story about when I climbed up the side of the mountain by myself and didn’t fall?”

So I tell him.

About the time he helped his little brother slide down a hill on his bottom, hands reaching out to each other for stability.

About the time we reached the edge of a stream while hiking and I watched, standing with his brother in a backpack, as he hopped across a trail of shallow, underwater rocks, the stream running over his brown boots.

About the time, on another mountain hike, when he underestimated the slope of a small hill and started to slide. Instead of slipping, he dug his shoes into the dirt and grabbed low shrubs. He pulled himself back up, exhibiting his four year old strength.

I repeat the tales, near daily, watching his bright eyes sparkle and his shy grin spread.

He beams.

He is appreciated. His skills are valued. He is respected.

~*~

Yesterday, I heard even smaller lips form the question.

“Mommy?” The two year old raised his brown eyes to meet mine. “Tell me ’bout when I was awesome?”

~*~

Many of have heard that men crave respect. They desire honor. They need to be appreciated for their skills, abilities, thoughts and actions just as much as women long to be told they’re beautiful, loved, and protected.

My boys are little.

Not even school aged.

And while in a season of “single” parenting while my Marine husband is deployed to Afghanistan, I tend to forget…

…that they’re really just little men.

Their little boy hearts crave the same respect and honor that their daddy does.

So I admire their strong toddler biceps. I praise them when they “rescue Mama” from bugs. I listen to their thoughts when they try to problem solve.

And I tell them stories.

‘Bout the times when they are awesome.

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Where Joy Lives

By on July 26, 2010 in a mother's heart, connection with boys, Life Lessons, Prayer

It’s hot and muggy; throngs of people crowding the walkways and shuffling from one ride to another.  Everyone’s jostling for position in tree-shaded lines offering small bits of respite from the glaring sun and endless walking. Excitement and laughter floats in the air and smiles abound as parents hold the sweet hands of their children sticky with cotton candy and ice cream.

I glance around, envious.  I keep telling myself to enjoy the day, enjoy the vacation, enjoy my son.  But this momma heart is weary and tired and filled to the brim with “Why do things have to be this way?”

Today, I am the love-torn momma who can’t reach her child.

My son is having a challenging day; one of the days where his ADHD seems to smother any semblance of a calm existence. He’s running wild, not obeying, crashing into other people and things. I’m chasing after him telling him over and over to be still, be calm, don’t hurt yourself or anyone else. A constant litany of talking back and patient words in reply, trying to sooth, trying to refocus.

It’s not working today.

I catch myself thinking these thoughts as tears start to well up, chastise myself for feeling sorry for myself, pray to God desperately to take away my spirit of frustration, replace it with a spirit of joy, take a deep breath, try again.

My son runs up, yanks me over to another ride.  It’s one of those seemingly unstable kiddie rides with seats shaped like a tea cup.  I grimace as I climb in, trying to fit myself into the small, cramped space, thinking it’s just like the narrow path I’ve been called to live.  I feel like it can’t contain me, feel like I can’t breathe, as I hunker down on the seat. No sweet anticipation today; I’m focused on myself.  My son climbs in over me, stepping on my hand and yanking my hair in passing. No sweet apologies today; he’s focused on himself.

He sits across from me and the ride goes up and up and up and starts spinning wildly with a harsh creak of sounds. I look across at my son and see his face, suddenly full of fear and uncertainty.

I let go of my white-knuckled grip on the safety bars, all sense of stability and control slipping through my fingers as I put my hands on either side of his face. I tell him to quiet his heart, to not be afraid, to look into my eyes, to focus on my love. He does so and lets go too, reaches up and puts his hands over mine.

The world around fades away, as calmness descends, and we are no longer aware of anything going on outside our little cocoon of momma-son love and trust. I don’t care or even notice that people are starting to stare at the momma and son who have let go, who are not hanging on to anything but each other

{and faith.}

I stare into his eyes, watching the fear slip away and his face start to shine with happiness. I catch my breath as God whispers to me

This…

THIS…

is where joy lives.

Tears start to fall as joy overwhelms me; fills me with wonder at the picture God is painting on the hearts of myself and my son and everyone watching.

The ride slows and jolts to a stop, the world snaps back into focus with a blast of color and light and sound. I wipe my face as we stumble out, laughing at my awkwardness in getting out while holding his

{and His}

hand, ready to rush on to the next adventure together.

As we move on, I can’t help but wonder if this is how God feels when we let go of our imagined control, let the chaotic world around us fall away, put our hands on His face, and focus on His hands wrapped around ours.

He whispers again

Yes, my sweet child, this…

THIS…

is where joy lives.

I smile at my God, thankful for the lesson, humbled by the reminder, forever changed by His love, and start to walk down the narrow path again.

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Summer Schooling

By on July 25, 2010 in adventure, connection with boys, homeschool, Uncategorized

  In hopes of cultivating hearts that love to learn beyond week days, 3pm, and school schedules we decided to school year round.

We did take a short break in June for art camp, VBS, and visitors. But there are only so many things you can do outside in FL in the choking humidity, and rather than become beached whales, Lego maniacs, or Wii experts … we come inside for fun learning.

 Here are my summer schooling plans:

  • Television – put down the tv guide! Magic School Bus and National Geographic Really Wild Animals are packed full of facts and great DVDs for afternoon entertainment. I also enjoy the Tall Tales and Legends and Animated Hero Classics series. (you can find these at your library)
  • Internet games – enhance the dvd lessons! Hop to those websites and participate in the online games and quizzes. We also enjoy educational games like Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego. V-Smile and Leapster have great educational games too.
  • Mini unit studies – flying through curriculum is expensive. We make weekly trips to the library to discovery different types of animals, places, people, and time periods.
  • Magazines – we receive National Geographic Kids during the year. Over the summer I pull them out and do all the science projects and “fun” I didn’t have time to do during the school year.
  • Craft time – summer time is perfect for crafts. It is Popsicle season and paint dries faster in the summer!
  • Independence – the summer is a great time to learn all about our nation’s history. Each year we add onto the Revolutionary War, the people who impacted our history, and the events that lined up our freedom. The summer is a fun time to celebrate and get in July 4th red, white, and blue spirit all summer long.
  • Read It – we create a reading incentive. Think Book It Pizza Program on us. A chart is created, and reading is rewarded.
  • Supplements – I break out word hunts, crossword puzzles, and other “game” books. (Target has a great selection besides cheap ones from Amazon – buy a few and shelf them immediately – save them for the summer).
  • Board Games – even if there are no educational facts to memorize, we work on our character building traits like patience and good sportsmanship!
  • Pen Pals – we try to find one pen pal and write a letter twice per month during the summer. We also write letters to grandparents, and boy do they love it! (you’ll be forgiven for not coming to visit).
  • Audio Books – very nice to have on hand when you’re cooling down from the slip and slide.

 I encourage you to get creative and think outside the box. Better yet – get in the box and blast off to outer space for the day! Have fun learning – it’s summer ya know!

Isaiah 54:13 “All your sons will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children’s peace”

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